NormLeon Golub
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If you chance your mind, I'll be faced in line
The inevitable slide that has come with being igratiatingly obscure has led me to slide, slip, fall, flounder, flap, and just generally fall down the latter. I can't say that I scare too much about hats. They don't frighten me one bait. That I now fanned myself spanking down the latter is really rather fartunate, really. I mean, if I scared about hats. I'll say it again, I can't remember anything and half of them are warts. I'm not unhippy at all. Actually, I'm very much the sower of my own seats. They just grow under my very bottom. Under my very bottom are my very legs. If I could see them, I'd say they were. I've been tolled they're still there and quite expansively. It's not risque to say that I don't care.
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Ledger family to sell home bathwater for grieving fans.
One happy, grieving Heath Ledger fan in Hollywood.
The grieving family of Heath Ledger are selling litres of water from their home bath (the one Heath once washed in) and shipping them all around the world for grieving fans unable to take a memorial swim at Heath's favourite Perth beachside suburb.
For Thespians who want to take the grieving a bit further, they can order copies of Shakespeare's Hamlet signed by Heath's father, and soliloquize to their heart's content in the bath. Those not as highbrow as most Hollywood actors can download Beatles music to their waterproof ipods.
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Tendulkar tries to cheat. AGAIN!
Tendulkar refuses to walk. AGAIN!
One of the most disgraceful, racist and lying cricketers ever to put a pair of pads on, Sachin Tendulkar, ‘The Little Master of Fibs’ refused to walk after being out hit wicket in today’s one day international, and confronted the umpire in one of the ugliest scenes in cricket since Harbajhan Singh called Prime Minister Rudd a baboon for saying sorry to Abo monkeys. An injured Matthew Hayden, watching the match on TV from his back yard, with his Hindu speaking ex girlfriend said she clearly heard Tendulkar say to the umpire, “I’m God in India. We run cricket. You’re a product of your own son having sex with your mother and sister. The BCCI will make sure you never umpire again.” Harbajhan Singh said he heard what Tendulkar said from the batting nets behind the Gabba and he clearly heard Tendulkar say, Holy Cow, Mother and Sister. I’m run out? I accept your decision as if it was coming from the ICC.”
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Wayne Carey’s girlfriend Kate Neilson’s MySpace Blog.
Kate Neilson (brunette on the left) with a blonde former friend after a night out with Wayne.
Current mood: ditzy.
I used to be blonde but became a brunette because Wayne prefers brunettes. Wow! How smart am I? That puts an end to the dumb blonde myth. I was in NEW YORK!!! at the time. Not everyone is as well-travelled or as cashed up as me.
I live my life every day as if it were my last day on earth because it might be if I stay with Wayne, and he bashes me to death one night.
Sometimes you meet guys with heaps of money and you just gel with them, well that’s me and Wayne!
I LOVE animals and I love the fact that I'm also in love with an animal too.
Loving someone is a gift to yourself. I shouted myself lots of presents when I fell in love with Wayne and he lent me one of his credit cards. Wow! I like taking a spa in his premiership jumper and a Kangaroos flag as a bandana. It’s a cool look. I’m more covered up in the spa than I was when I was a Grand Prix girl.
Love from my point of view is to be bashed one day in the US and make up the next day in Melbourne. I’m so girly. It’s wonderful to be with an aggressive man like no other.
I am crazy about Madonna! Brunettes who turn blonde just hit it off with blondes who turn brunette. They have so much in common!
I know what I want from life and Im going to get it! I hate men that spit but bashing a woman is different. Wayne sometimes dribbles but only when he’s on drugs.
I love to have a good time and party but I also know how to balance things out by having wild parties some days and tame ones the next.
I love heating up pre-cooked TV dinners in a microwave while getting completely sloshed on cask wine. I stopped buying wine in glass bottles after our Miami trip.
I’m a really caring person who embraces the whole world. I hate negative people and that gold-digging chick I used to be friends with! The one that said she slept with Wayne the night I was sleeping with him.
I hate my belly button being touched so I put a bandaid over it.
I have completed a two hour correspondence course with NIDA and Nicole Kidman, and even have an online certificate – bring on the Hollywood offers!
Enjoy my life!
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Wayne Carey to join Miami PD.
Officer Wayne Carey gives the thumbs up to his new Miami PD uniform.
Miami Chief of Police, Ty Dup has dropped assault charges against Wayne Carey and offered him a job as an honorary battering ram for the local SWAT team. “It’s the thickness of his head,” Chief Dup said. “It doesn’t seem to matter to Wayne how many times he rams it into something or someone, he always comes back for more with the same thick head. He’ll also be handy if we have to subdue women. Instead of a baton, gun, capsicum spray or handcuffs, he’ll be issued with two empty wine glasses.” Carey said he was looking forward to wearing a police hat to cover his baldness but ruled out a football comeback with the Miami Dolphins. “Plus chicks just dig guys in uniform.” Carey’s girlfriend, Kate Neilson, said she was still cut up over the incident but the blows had been softened when she was offered a lucrative role as a car crash victim who flies through a windscreen in the latest TAC (Victorian Transport Authority Commission) ads.
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