NormBeggar's Belief (2005)
Fair fuckin dinkum, fair fuckin dinkum mate. Fair fuckin dinkum, fair fuckin dinkum. Fair dinkum. That’s what he said and I said: Fair fuckin dinkum mate, fair fuckin dinkum. That’s what I said to him. Fair dinkum. That’s what I said. I shit you not. Fair dinkum. That’s what I said. Fair fuckin dinkum mate, fair fuckin dinkum. That’s what I said. I just looked at him and I said: Fair fuckin dinkum, fair fuckin dinkum. Fair dinkum. That’s what I said. Fair fuckin dinkum mate, fair fuckin dinkum. Fair fuckin dinkum. Well you should have seen the look on his face. Fair dinkum. It was priceless – no price – no fuckin price. Fair dinkum. Anyway, he turned to me, stark raving fuckin mad and he goes: Fair fuckin dinkum, fair fuckin dinkum mate. That’s what he said. It’s what he said to me. Well, with that – shocked as I was, and I shit you not this is what I said: Fair dinkum. Fair fuckin dinkum. Fair fuckin dinkum mate. Naturally he was appalled. Well who wouldn’t be? Fair dinkum. It happened. I fuckin swear on me undies. So as I was leaving he turns to me and he just looks at me; just stares at me and he goes: Fair fuckin dinkum, fair fuckin dinkum mate. I was ropable. Awww I could have been roped. I nearly fuckin was. This is what I said and I quote: Fair fuckin dinkum mate, fair fuckin dinkum. Well his jaw hit the fuckin floor. From that position his lips managed something I don’t care to repeat but the gist of it was something like: Fair fuckin dinkum. That is what he said. Along those lines. I just lit up another smoke and said: Is that a fuckin fact mate? Like that – a rhetorical question of course. I knew it wasn’t a fact even though I didn’t know what he’d said. Fair dinkum it’s what I said. That’s a fact. You can quote me on that. You can say this is what he said and I quote. In reference to me. Go for you fuckin life. And I quote Is that fuckin right mate?. He couldn’t believe it. Fair dinkum. He gathered himself together and all hoity-toity he says to me he says: Fair fuckin dinkum. Fair fuckin dinkum mate. Not in so many words but you get the idea. Actually his lips never moved. The body’s moving. Anyway his body was moving. The arm was the most active. I forget how it started. At he elbow then the wrist then the extremities then the extremities then the elbow then the elbow. I bumped into him. Accidently fell over him sitting on his stool. He could have been giving birth to that thing. Delivering a stool. Congratulations Mister Cockhead it’s a stool! Anyway he jumps up all irate and he says: why don’t you watch where you’re fuckin going mate? Rhetorical. He knew it was because I was blind that I had trouble watching where I was going. All he had to do was take one look at me. If you have trouble with bad language you should look away now because I am going to repeat what I said to him. Look away now. I don’t know why I just done that mate – sorry. Welcome back. Fair dinkum. It’s in the transcript.
