NormBindi Irwin to train gay horses for Sydney Mardi Gras tribute to Heath Ledger.
Sydney Mardi Gras organisers have hired Bindi Irwin to counsel gay horses to get over their stable phobias and come out in force this year at the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. “Certain horses are born gay,” animal and life expert Bindi said. “They can’t help it. They should be accepted into society like Phar Lap and Makybe Diva were. Why should all the straight horses get whipped in public arenas like Flemington racecourse while the gay horses who love that stuff miss out?” Bindi, who thinks Horse Whispering is a load of crap for effeminate men says she shouts at the horses. She plans to dress up as a schoolgirl dominatrix and ride the leading gay horse in the parade by standing on her head, while she dances and sings, recites the script of Brokeback Mountain backwards, while formulating a plan to save the Great Barrier Reef. Bindi even hopes her father is reincarnated as a gay. “He can always adopt a dolphin,” she said to the famous Wiggles tune. Bindi denied rumours she was a lesbian or that she was really pissed off at not being named Young Australian of the Year or getting a gig on Dancing With The Stars. “I’m as comfortable in my own skin as I am as dad was in a wetsuit,” Bindi said as she cut short the media conference to take a phone call from NASA to help their chief rocket scientist solve a problem.
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