NormIf it fit, I would surely have my head right up my ares
Under no circumstances am i capable of the most overbearing kind of arrogance that you have ever encountered in your pitiful lives. I must make you all understand that I always, always, always have a handle on the size of my head (that, i think is why i have been called trophy ears but i'll let you be the judge of that, if you think that you're up to it. You're probably not, so let's just forget that i ever asked you to assist me in my endeavours, as it's obviuosly something that very few are capable of handling. Hardly surpising that nobody has ever called you trophy ears with anything like the frequency that i have been handed the prestigious acclaim of receiving the accolade for always having a handle on the dimensions of my bean. And since it has been so long since any of you have ever had the privilege of bathing in the infectious joy of my carefully constructed persona, i thought I might assign you all a little task. Hang on, we've been through this and i thought that I made it clear that you, to no real fault of your own, aren't up to the task of holding a candle to my scrotum so that i can squeeze the ingrown hairs on the underside of my sack. Now try to restrain your relief that it is no fault of your own but, be determined in your resignation that there is little, if not nothing, that you can do to attain for your shortcomings. Even with a pair of high heels on, you still wouldn't be able to do the required candle handling).
My head and my sack: opposite.
I can see it now. A new world cup competition to rival the rugby world cup and a new trophy to rival Bill.
A www (Web) competition, where the e-NORM Web trophy is the major prize every four years. It will become known simply as Norm.
Dusk will consider this sacrilege, but I needed a laugh today.
Cheers Big Ears! Trophy Head!
David ...
Rugby World Cup 2007
Film & TV on DVD
Hot wax....hot nipple wax, hot ball sack wax...this could be a Dr Suess story...Where's Debbie Harry in Videodrome when you need her.
I told you Dusk would get upset.
David ...
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Who wouldn't want me sitting on their mantelpiece?
There might be a post in that question.
But questions in posts is your domain.
Rib. Rib.
I can see the Kiwis lining up to fill me with champers right now.
Rib.
Norm's Ribs
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
there's nothing cauliflower about my head.
Cheese, yes. Cauli, no.
Sprouts? Maybe.
Norm, Grocery Section
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
you are definitely fit to hold a candle to any other candle holder holding a candle to one holding a candle to my candle carrier.
Rib.
Norm, Homewares
Rugby World Cup 2007
Where others just atrophy...you remain a trophy.
May your cup runneth over.
Mine does.
DD.
...I mean...see?
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
No sexual innuendo intended.
I remain atrophy ears.
My ear only knows one tongue.
No innuendo.
Rugby World Cup 2007
I thought this was a G-rated blog. No strings.
Well I never.
I'm shocked and appalled. And a Blues Brothers song.
Did you catch her?
I'm going to paint.
And to teach people how to employ their brains.
And what niceties are all about.
Disgusting.
Profane.
Don't think I read your posts because I enjoy them, or that I'm a curious soul or I like gossip. I only read them from a censorship point-of-view. Someone has to do something about comments sections like this one.
And I don't watch television either. I get all of my information about the Royal Family from the net. Television is evil.
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
how can you mention undies at a time like this.
David is obviously offended by such filth.
Of course, appropriating material that you have no interest in merely to attract readers is fine.
Fine by me, anyway.
Blindside.
I told you Orble and Google had struck up a deal.
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
it gladdens me to hear that you don't watch television as well.
I mean apart from Toadie and Steph and little bouncer, I can't watch any such trash.
Except for Home and Away, Wheel of Fortune, The Price is Right, Blankety Blanks and Sons and Daughters.
Now with regard to the comments section, I don't think I need to draw you attention.
I hate imagery in art.
Particularly painting.
P.S.
N.B.
MBE
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Why, yes. Yes it is.
Overcome Jealousy by Closing others' legs
Difficult People?
Me?
Difficult?
Paranoid, yes.
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
If I held a candle to any part of your anatomy, it would burn for months.
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Candle is not my middle name, it's my last name.
Short on wick, long on stick.
Oop that rhymes.
Norm
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
Release the hounds...
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Awesome post.... so funny
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Presheate it.