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What's your onion on this hot topic?

The sad fact is that arseholes are like onions - every one makes your breath stink. The other sad fact is that, unlike onions, arseholes don't have layers. They're as simple as a hole for expelling shit. Another sad fact is that facts are, sadly, sad. Fact is that sadness is a fact. Of facts and opinions, I'd take a deadly dose of ratsack. Like onions, potatoes are in potato and onion soup. If I had to choose, I'd choose. If you've ever noticed how much like an arsehole you are, then you're probably as flushed as me. Even more flushed is of course the product of everyone. The thing about being fixated is that it gives you a chance to concentrate. Pucker up your lips because you've probably got some work to do. Your interests rate with me. We all need to keep our balance. Onions, have you ever noticed, leak through your skin the day after you've eaten them? No doubt, you're full of onions. Opinions and them: equal.



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7 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]
1. December 12th 2007 @ 00:11. Mal Says:
It's enough to bring tears to a man's eyes. Or cause tears to leave a man's eyes so that someone can bring them back with the groceries.
2. December 12th 2007 @ 00:29. Norm Says:
Better to bring tears to your eyes than your hair. Better still to bring them to the pages of a book. Nothing turns a page like a tear.
3. December 12th 2007 @ 00:41. Mal Says:
I once wrote a 400 page manuscript without a pen, just tears. Book publishers just didn't comrprehend the emotion that went into every page. Next time I'll press an onion in it.
4. December 12th 2007 @ 00:53. Norm Says:
Book publishers rarely look for an emotionally manipulative or, least of all, fashionably topical book to put in readers' eyes. Onion scented novels could be a good bag.
5. December 12th 2007 @ 00:59. Mal Says:
I wonder how long I'd have to leave a novel under the couch before a dried pumpkin arrangement was ready for publication.
6. December 12th 2007 @ 01:20. Norm Says:
The time it takes to figure that one out is the time it takes for a papery pumpkin to prepare. I'm currently working on a novel I title Harvey Bopper and the Michelangelo Enigma.
7. December 12th 2007 @ 01:58. Mal Says:
I like the idea of crushed guitars, drum-kits and wind instruments in a pop-up style book focusing on outdated art and Vatican conspiracy theories. I think I'll eat the pumpkins and start a new book.

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