The Morbid Pedant and The Malty Man
They say that to have two pockets and two hands is prudent - nobody told that to The Pallid Rodent. It was his style of trousers that the pockets outnumbered the hands and he had his fair share of those. The pants themselves were of an elusive material that Western Outlandish Gentleman often carried about on their person in the fashion of some highly fashionable gentleman that was always on the lookout for a quick buck. The Pallid Rat had a hat with a pocket and even his pockets had pockets and those pockets pockets. The hat was large and dirty like a rag you'd use to clean out your ear holes, needless to say the ladies went bananas over such a piece of headgear as this. It's a great shame that the ears of The Mouldy Mat knew no such garment. His nose came down from his brow like some sort of boneless smelling apparatus, lucky for him the ligaments were in place. The Mat ran a series of brothels with the ardour and dedication of a Protestant Minister. Like the one he knew well who strutted around the streets of his parish like a madam with a "headache" or a madman with a gift voucher for the same brothel. If any of this has failed to enlighten you it is because the lives of these characters is as not as important as dancing naked or scratching.











