How now?

Equal and Opposite

follow this blog

20 followers

188 daily readers

rank of 35

E-mail Subscription

Receive an e-mail notification of new posts on this site:

How do I put this?

If there's one thing that makes me sit up and take notice it would have to be a sign that says "Sit up and take notice". I have an uncanny ability for reading the signs. I won't sit up or take notice without being instructed to do so. You can go a long way with literacy and numeracy. My foot, I can't put my feet on the seats. Feet go on seats as arses go on the floor. My arse is without flaw. My feats on the other hand. When I start whistling that's the sign that my lip reduction stitches have healed. Nothing makes my lips whistle like a can of beans. Cracked whips are a sure sign of dry skin. I'm not going to beat myself up over it, but I love self-flagellation. All the signs say that signs are a sure sign of signals. If you've ever sold sea shells on the see-saw you'll know how hard it is to have your arse pounded. If it came down to your arse or mine I'd back mine in. I've put a lot in to mine and I'm not going to back out now. Chances are, if you're reading this you're sitting up. I have noticed your fly is undone. Yours and mine: undone.

Vote

Add To:

subscribe to this blog

follow this blog on Orble

start your own blog

[ Link ]

December 12th 2007 @ 23:34

Posted By: Norm - Category: Outsider Art

Related Posts:

Relate This Post

[ Previous - A few numerals short of a Mensa invitation. ]

[ Next - What's your onion on this hot topic? ]

Comments

8 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Mal

1. December 13th 2007 @ 00:02. Mal Says:

Having sat down to read this I can't stand it. And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's sitting down. Sitting up in a child's high chair is a great place to throw food from at signs that say please don't throw food. Yet throwing food down is the only way to start the whole digestion process. Signs high on the wall just lead to throwing up. And yet we throw up we are bent over facing down. Throwing up on your back only leads to imitating a baby bird imitating itself and its own mother during the regurgitation process. And that just leads to an identity crisis. Trying to fly without wings was something George Reeves tried after Superman was cancelled. And we all know how that turned out. It seems that anyone who plays Superman is cursed. If you don't die immediately, you end up living a worse life than if you have died. Unless you're Stephen Hawking. Then you just turn into a chicken and fly off into outerspace in a wheelchair. But there are easier ways of getting into black holes. A flight to Africa is cheaper. Only if you can stand sitting up on a plane.

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

2. December 13th 2007 @ 00:10. Norm Says:

If there's one thing I can't stand beside it would have to be myself. If there's one thing I can't stand beside that it would have to be The War on Terror, Terrorism, Diets, Overeating, Silly Movies, Serious Movies, Celebrities, Nobodies, Conservatives, Revolutionaries. If I had to name one it would be one of those. If I had to name all of them I'd pick one form that list. If I had to list them all I'd start at the beginning. If I had to write a sentence without "me" in it I'd have a hard time writing anything. If there's one thing I can't do it would have to be stop writing. If I had to, i would. If I could, I might. If I might, I'll say so. Not in so many words.

Mal

3. December 13th 2007 @ 00:16. Mal Says:

Part of me loves myself. Part of me loathes myself. The word 'me' hardly seems appropriate for someone such as myself who is obviously not just a single me but Mes. From now on the person formely known as I or me will refer to myselves as Mes or Is. These dilemmas are so easily solved with a little introspective blogging.

4. December 13th 2007 @ 00:22. tlcorbin Says:

Damnation or not, there are two of one of you, and all three of you are giving me a peach of a pear of pains. Raven

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

5. December 13th 2007 @ 00:28. Norm Says:

A little introblogging goes a long way. If there's one thing there should be more of it's that. Many's the time that we've spent money frivolously. I'm hard put to do to anything that doesn't have me all over it. I picked that up watching Adult Movies, which i love. I might start a blog where I review Adult Movies. With links and everything. Links are acceptable. My tissues have me all over them.

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

6. December 13th 2007 @ 00:41. Norm Says:

Last time I looked I had two eyes.
I'll try again later.

Mal

7. December 13th 2007 @ 00:41. Mal Says:

The man who invented tissues also invented the sneeze. "A tissue!" he said as he put some toilet paper to his nose and threw it in a shoe box. "Aha!" he said. "Toilet paper in boxes, rather than on rolls." Sitting on the bog and carefully peeling off sheet after sheet of toilet paper, he started with paper planes, then a bit of Origami and finally he realised he could interfold the sheets to get more in the shoe box. He's a multi-billionaire today but he still uses toilet paper.

Mal

8. December 13th 2007 @ 00:47. Mal Says:

Gallstones will do that to you.

[ Previous - A few numerals short of a Mensa invitation. ]

[ Next - What's your onion on this hot topic? ]