NormHow to get nuns pregnant in convents – Martin Luther’s hidden gospel discovered.
Nicole Kidman as Hitler in Tom Cruise's upcoming 'L Ron and Adolf's Bunker Dialogues.'
Location manager for Tom Cruise’s latest film project ‘L Ron and Adolf’s Bunker Dialogues’ Nancy Cartwright, uncovered Luther’s secret gospel in a wine cellar converted into a sex dungeon at Luther’s former Nimbschen convent in Germany. In his gospel, which reads like a depraved version of St Augustine’s Confessions, Luther writes, ‘I know Catholicism is right but the devil has promised me fame beyond death as a founder of a new religious cult if I keep deflowering the nuns here. He told me most people are so stupid they’ll believe anything, and within a few hundred years they won’t even believe the Pope is the head of the Church.’ “We’ll write it into a Simpsons’ episode eventually” Cartwright said. “Right now I’m busy coaching Nicole (Kidman) on her Hitler accent. Tom will naturally play L Ron, our illustrious founder. He’s already played a German baddie.” So far the only leaked dialogue from the film is where L Ron Hubbard says to Hitler, “Anyone who thinks you need to see a psychiatrist is nuts.” Paris Hilton is tipped to play Eva Braun. Cell-phone footage of Britney Spears at home with her kids will be used to portray Hitler’s youth.
