NormMal’s Reading Tips for Scrabble Players.
The first draft of a typical blogger's post.
I used to love Scrabble but I got so good at it there was no competition. I gave up playing and have devoted part of my life to educating and improving others. Pretty much everything I’ve done in my life has turned out like that. I’m forever enlightening people due to the fact I can’t go through any further enlightenment myself, having learned everything there is to know about life itself. It’s the downside of being perfect. I keep conquering everything I do so rapidly it forces me to turn to teaching others. Which is a real trial. It certainly tests my patience dealing with idiots and halfwits in a compassionate, caring and nurturing manner, and raising their intelligence levels slightly beyond that of a dairy cow. To see the joy on their faces when they realise they have finally become smarter than sheep is reward enough for someone such as myself with perfect compassion.
After becoming the world’s greatest blogger, I thought about quitting but I see so many people out there in Blog Land just crying out for help by trying to pass off their pathetic, ill-informed and ignorant rants as writing and hope no-one notices, when the text just screams out things like, ‘Help me!’ ‘I don’t know what I’m talking about or how to write.’ Being perfect in all areas, including compassion, I tend to pity the poor ignorant bastards, and feel compelled to help them. And so I’m still here in an educatorial capacity.
But again, I digress. It’s ludicrous to think I could impart my wealth of knowledge to people and expect them to grasp even 10% of it. Getting most people to a smarter-than-a-sheep level is enough. Sometimes, even that is stretching things a bit. But I persevere for the common good. It’s in my nature to share without jealousy or envy. Not that I could ever be envious of another human being, knowing what I know, and having the certitude of my own mind to convince me I am right and everyone else is wrong.
For those of you who play Scrabble regularly, even if poorly, which I’m convinced most of you do, I’d suggest reading the Zaire Daily. It’s a great African newspaper which throws up some great Z words, on the off chance you get that one Z in scrabble and can’t make the word ‘zoo’ because you don’t have two ‘O’s’ and it’s the only word starting with ‘Z’ or ‘zed’ you know, apart from zed itself.
Here is an article from earlier today for your instruction:
Zaire zebras and zizels zenned out on zibib.
Zazzy and zany zoocentric zingaro zelatrix, Madame Z the zooid, filled the zucca (gourd) of zampone with a zymogenic zygosis of zablagione and zibib.
Your humble yet vastly superior servant.
Mal.
