NormPain and pleasure
Not many people know this but, pissing razorblades is really rather meaningless. It’s an absolute pleasure to apply ointment to open genital sores. The things I’ve seen. Sawing a bitching in half with a shoestring means nothing to me. As far as I know dogs know no suffering like being bifurcated up the nose. Know-all armed arse-robbers can wipe my arse with their face cactus. They make a real spectacle of themselves. Glasses require constant care, Constance. If anyone lends me their nasal windows I’ll put their eye in the pane. The monocle on my all-seeing one is not rose coloured. No, not that, anything but that. To people who know me well enough, I’m a right pain in the proverbial bog blaster. A pane in the arse is a window to the hole. Without consciousness we know none. I’ve known none. My habit is avoidance. There are beings, living, who are really having pokers pushed in their peepers. Hurt is the body telling the brain: this could be fucking fatal you walnut! I’ve never known excruciating insights into what the body can say. Plenty to look forward to. Fuck, don’t get in my face and tell me life’s a fucking picnic, basket cases. I’ll wrap your carcass in a blanky and roll you up and down the hill, up and down the hill. I’ll hamper your attempts at winging it, chickens. Once again, it’s been a pleasure. Pain and pleasure: opposite.
I prefer to shit razorblades, on a regular basis, I might add. It keeps the bumfluff in check. And is cheaper that getting a male Brazilian.
David ...
Mal
I'm with you all the way on this one.
U-Turning and Re-turning to where I already am.
Mal.
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
that's why I drink so much tea; I simply must have something to go with all the biscuits that I shit. Mostly from watching horror movies.
Norm...
Have you ever considered doing a few Posts whereby you give dietary or diahorreatic advice to those wishing to gain or lose weight? Your knowledge of nutrition shits on most of the garbage I don't read.
David ...
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
...a rotaing urinal...I spose that might help get the dags off...thanks Mal-ADROIT...I'm with you on everything...
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
I reckon curly, wiry, oily dental floss would be a good place to start if anyone wanted to lose weight...yours is a good suggestion, I'll have to mentally masticate it...
Norm...
Mal
It beats shoving a shearing handpiece up my arse. A smoking, burning, bleeding arsehole is not the type of smoko I like. Tea and biscuits for me. Plus, there is always the danger of being hamstrung. Or worse. Seeing my loin disguised as chops in a butcher's shop window.
U-Turning and Re-Turning to where I am.
Mal.
I passed a Colon Irrigating Business. Are people being ripped off with promises of vineyards sprouting out of their arses? There's a lot of Con Merchants out there nowadays. It would make shit wine.
David ...
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
bleeding arseholes are all about us...I'm certain that you've seen your fair share, definitely more than me...When i wanted to write poems I thought I had to find my muelse...here I am today...If I see you with a sprig of parsley on your bum, I'll tell you...
Norm...
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
I don't want a million dollars. I just want $20,000 every year for 50 years.
I passed the biggest nugget that I've ever seen. I was driving the big bus. Took a few rolls. When I looked for that nugget again, I couldn't find it.
Norm...
Mal
I tend to agree. We both wear our arseholes on our sleeves. Wiping them on our sleeves wasn't the best idea we ever came up with. But when the toilet paper ran out, what were we meant to do? I'm not concerned about sprouting a parsley plant out of my arse at all. I'm more concerned about all the shit that's flying around from those who choose to wear their arseholes in their mouths. Finding a muelse is the first step towards the whole crutch of poetry.
U-Turning & Re-Turning to where I am.
Mal.
Porcelain is not the best material to use when panning for nuggets ...
It's very slippery. You'll only flush the nuggets downstream with the currents and biscuits and razorblades ...
Someone's making a complete stool-pigeon out of you with advice like that ...
David ...
The ads you have on your site today are very appropriate:
Itchy Scrotum or Penis?
Don't try other treatments until you read this. Very Important Info!
www.YeastInfectionCured.com
David ...
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
have a peep at Bo, she'll direct you to the laughterhouse...
It's finding clothes that fit...at least we can say we've always got something special up our sleeves...
Norm...
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
I'd rather dip my pan in the stream than dig for nuggets...but I'm not picky...I don't think that I could send a horse down mine, like they used to...
...I can't believe that they allow ads with Scrotums and Penises in them...I don't condone putting a Penis in an inappropriate place but I'm yet to find one...
Norm...
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