“He will rot and burn in hell for making the casket out of wood,” self-appointed spokesperson for the Texas hate group Shirley Phelps said. “It’s a deliberate attempt by Hollywood Jew slimebag sinner undertakers to deify a known public homosexual, and drag millions of other faggot-loving, movie watching, popcorn crunching scum to hell. Actors aren’t worthy of being buried in wooden caskets when God’s only son died on wood. God is 100% love but He hates fags. Just read John 43.16. The Jews know Jesus died on the Cross. They put him there because He was on his way to Texas to set up a global spiritual kingdom in the regional south of the United States with Mary Magdalene’s sister Martha who was John the Baptist’s niece, rid this country of filth, and propagate a nation of virtuous monogamous Baptist latter day Saints. If you study a map of Calvary and Christ’s last footsteps you will see they were pointing to Texas. That’s a real red carpet. One of your own blood. He died of a broken heart at not being able to fulfil his life’s mission as much as he did of his injuries. He could have flown to Texas in a helicopter he made when he was 12 but didn’t want to scare people with his knowledge of future events too much and got the Apostles to burn it along with the blueprints. Fortunately our founder realised this by divine revelation after fasting for three months in a desert cave while writing the Baptist Manifesto and interpreting the Bible properly, and continued Christ’s child-bearing work on earth with select Baptist virgins such as myself, while everyone else stumbled around in complete ignorance of God’s word by reading non-Baptist literature. To this day he won’t fly by helicopter. God waited almost two thousand years to see if there was a person anywhere near as morally upright as our founder. God is infinitely patient but not with fags. What’s a few thousand years to God? Most of the time he just spends counting how many more faggots are in hell, and how much compassion he shows to them by letting them live long enough to convert. But they’re too reprobate. He’s waiting for the end of the world when he only has to hang around Baptists, and can forget how evil faggots are. After the evil Jews killed Christ, they purposely set up the media to deny it ever happened, and the Muslims and other false Christian sects transcribed these writings into their own false faith or just invented false teachings. When Jews couldn’t get their message out to enough unbelievers on scrolls, they invented the printing press to corrupt the masses, and in league with Satan invented the net using the devil’s love child Bill Gates, whose mother was Marilyn Monroe impregnated with L Ron Hubbard’s preserved sperm. 2000 years on and New York Jewish undertakers are still mocking Christ by making caskets out of wood for fags. But God will have the last laugh. And what a long laugh it will be. And we’ll be the only ones there with Him. He dispersed the Jews and put them in Hollywood and New York banks and let them run the media and the world as a generational race punishment for their wickedness. Most Jews are faggots anyway. It’s a known fact backed up by statistics the Wall St Journal shrouds in money talk. They might be in control in this life but just wait till the next when us Westboro Baptists are proved right. So many people miss the irony of American soldiers dying in the Holy Land, and how God allows their bodies to be brought back to this cesspool country of iniquity, whoredom, sodomy and blasphemy to be buried. He doesn’t want their corpses polluting the area where his Son grew up just like he doesn’t want them in Texas. And then you have Australian soldiers fighting on behalf of America when it’s none of their business, so they go back to that modern Gomhorra to be buried. Just as Judas infiltrated the Apostles so Mel Gibson was called by God to go into Hollywood and make real films about Christ to wake the pro-Semitic world up to itself. But people who don’t read the Bible are so dumb they arrested him for drinking, after Christ drank wine to set an example of how even before you die you should eat and drink to keep your strength up. God used Gibson to lead him to the Baptist faith but so far even he doesn’t understand his calling. Hitler did the world a favour, and Charles Manson should be set free.”
Australia’s leading medical practitioners have warned women who drink coffee while pregnant are in danger of taking caffeine into their systems.
An international poll of one white supremacist has branded the Indian cricket team and Indian supporters racists.
After a test match full of bad umpiring decisions, including a complete blunder by Steve Buchnor when he not only ate his lunch without a bib in the Whities Only section of the SCG dining room but ordered a home delivery Red Rooster chicken not only without consulting the major sponsors KFC, but failing to ask if women delivery drivers were allowed in the Whitie Men only section, then dribbled steroid-injected preservative juice and the yoke of a stillborn egg on his white shirt, India have threatened to quit world cricket unless SideBoTToM is the only umpire allowed to officiate in all test matches, and be the first, second, third and fourth umpire. Even if this means he has to umpire online, via mobile phone or LANline. All while playing for England, any county cricket side, or playing marbles with the pebbles on Brighton Beach against Maggie Thatcher's beach chair. Or uses snail mail to make his decisions. Or dictates his decisions to a computer literate secretary regardless of his/her gender. "We need correct decisions," Rahul Dravid's English & Chemistry teacher said from Oxford while he dined with the Queen, who said, "It's just not cricket." Even if each decision takes three weeks, and we have to replay the last four days of each test in Pakistan after the first wicket is left in dispute. The whole system needs a complete overhaul and SideBoTToM is the only man who can do it." SideBoTToM declined to respond, citing an arse operation to rectify his propensity to fall towards the legside when facing Doosras. Bad Decistions and Good Decisions? SideBoTToM!
I'll be damned if I'm going to spend eternity in hell. I just won't have it. If I do then you'll never know I have. Unless you take the lift down too. Taking the lift down is no way to take a lift. Not that I've done anything bad enough to be judged worthy of a lifetime of a eternity in the afterlife's equivalent of the slammer. If I am damned, I'll be damned if I am. I'll be. Even when I cease to be, there's no doubt I'll be. Hell, if I am damned at least I won't have to endure a draft. They only sell lager. I'll be damned if I'm going to sit on a hot poker. If I sit on a hot poker I'll be damned. Well, I'll be. I am. This is yet another post worthy of this damn nation. It's right up there. Right up. It's a devil of a thing. Damn and salve: one is an ointment.
I’ll fuck any pedestrian. Leave me alone with your kiddies at their peril. I’ll give them a jolly rogering. You’ll never find their skull and bones. Only vital organs strewn about my person like fashion accessories. Accessorise, people. It’s pedestrians and paedo that get me going. There’s nothing that I will stop at. I’ve fucked myself too many times. I can’t come at that any more, my arsehole contracting. To feel responsible for suffering is cause for enjoyment. It’s meant to be. You’ll understand this when I’m showing you the loss of your illusions. Freedom is a furphy. You’ll know this when I keep you. You’ll be kept like never before. Before I fuck you with a toaster, I’ll butter you up. You’ll be the toast of my dick. Your lies will be dismantled; I’ll put you on the mantle. Your plasticity will melt. The reality of reality will have you reeling. I’ll thread your nipples on hooks and send you out as my hooker. You’ll be giving favours, experience new flavours; I’ll savour your cadaver. I’ll cut you into steaks and pound you, smother you in special sauce. Your delicacies will be my delicacies. You’ll be the source of much delight. It’s an ending you’ve prayed for after the realism I’ve shown. I’ll fuck your shit up. I’ll fuck you up, and down. Every artifice you’ve constructed will be fucked up. I’ll knock your teeth out and turn you into a double header. Face the facts, you’re fucked. You’ll do anything. The things you do set your tongue wagging. I put my dick in your tail. You give me a big tick and want to flee. I’ll dog you all your days. You will always be chased. Lust and chastity: opposite.
If there’s one thing that I envy women for it’s childbirth. Fostering a foetus in your fanny must be fucking fantastic. Passing a semi through a straw would feel like a bit of a labour. If I see something that I like, I simply take it. The sight of a man with a wombed embryo hanging out the back of his dacks is something my neighbours get used to. You have to. I tolerate your eccentricities. I used to suck on tried and true tampons but now I eat plates of placenta. When it rains I wear a woman on my head, pulled on tight, and a pair of babies on my feet, gum boots. Teeth terrorise tinea. I have my inadequacies, if you can believe it. If you can believe that, then you might find it hard to believe that I’m only one gender. The deliverer said return to sender. I’ve made suits of all kinds of people, when it suits me. Jealousy is a cur, see? If I see you with something that threatens my sense of myself, expect me to lose it and then you will...lose it. Your uterus will be my shopping bag and your scrote my boat. It’ll be your good fortune when your severed head is stuffed in your genitals. I respect you for this. I’ll steal your body. Bring you to my level. You’ll give me all that you have. I’ll eat your pussy while my dog is in your arsehole. I’ll take what’s mine – all that’s yours. You’ll wish your came without. Within you’ll face the emptiness of your vessel. The structure of yourself will crash with the external circumstances. I’ll use your nipples as ear plugs as you scream for less. You’ll envy those who don’t have anything, yourself. I admire you for that. Envy and admiration: opposite.
Norm requested that I write this post for him and I couldn’t really say no because he wouldn’t hear it. He was already asleep before worded-breath had parted my lips. He wasn’t really asleep, he was merely faking it. Shit, he’s a lazy shit. He does fuck all, sweet. It’s why he’s so quiet; talking is too much exertion he tells me by holding up one of three signs. Piss off and shut up are the other two. He makes me type out all his shit and it is shit. He doesn’t give one though and all I get is the middle sign. Cunt that he is. Fuck, he is. A lazy sack of koala carcasses has more vim than that excuse for a person. Bed sores on his bottom have intertwined with his pyjama bottoms making him shit his pants and the bed. He does it with a zeal that he never exhibits for anything else. He leaves his writing on the curtains. He shits at the window and then with a stick scratches the words in, he leaves me to punctuate. Excuse any errors there. I’ve had to read all his shit and not many can say that. He never reads. His eyelids have grown into his face. To see where he’s shitting he has to look down his nose. He got me to write this one of my own accord and I don’t know why he bothers writing at all it’s just a waste. A waste, pure and simple. Shit, I’ve got heaps of shit to do and this is the normal length of one of these. The punctuation is in place. The numbers are too. And Norm has the shits up, again. Sloth and diligence: opposite
Norm
Mal
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