Norm
MalRudd reveals first list of bright minds and topics for his 2020 Summit.
Kevin Rudd's favourite band 'The Wiggles' will perform at the 2020 Summit
Balancing Mortgage Rates and Inflation for First Home Buyers – David Hicks and Schapelle Corby
David and Schapelle will teach people how to live on next to nothing for anywhere from 5-20 years.
Climate Change – Wayne Carey.
Wayne will speak on adapting to and coping with climate change, and how he once played a full quarter of a two-hour football match one Sunday on a cold Melbourne day and another quarter the next Saturday on a hot Brisbane day with only six days recovery in between.
Stiffer Jail Terms for Child Sexual Predators – Bindi Irwin
Bindi will model her new kiddy bikini range ‘Bite Me’ while she sings a song with the Wiggles unplugged in their Speedos.
National Security and Terrorism – Beaconsfield Mine Disaster Survivors Todd Russell and Brant Webb.
Todd and Brant will talk about the necessity of mining in the CBDs of capital cities, and converting the shafts to accommodation, and how all Australians would be safe for weeks if they were at least a kilometre underground, rather than living in hi-rise buildings.
Obesity – Pauline Hanson
Pauline will cook battered fish and chips to teach nutrition to Australians growing fat on Asian takeways like sushi and steamed rice.
Rising Oil Prices and Alternative Fuels – Casey Stoner and Mark Webber.
Casey will give a slide show of him as a 4 year old riding a home-made raft made from recycled outdoor dunnies in the sea near the Phillip Island race track using a shovel as a paddle, and Mark will do a PowerPoint demonstration of famous Australian stamps based on the native ducks of Albert Park Lake.
Unemployment & Poverty – Russell Crowe
Russell will appear via live video streaming from a Hollywood party and explain how to make 12 crates of Moet last the whole night. The 60 second clip will include Russell punching out at least three freeloaders.
Aboriginal Land Rights – Lindy Chamberlain.
Lindy will give a demonstration of how to kill a dingo (with a doll in its mouth) by boomerang without harming the toy.
Racism & Religious Intolerance – Tony Mokbel
A letter from Tony will be read out about how he and his Greek Orthodox mates once mingled with Catholic Italians at a Lygon Street church fair, how they taught him to make the perfect latte without a cappuccino machine by firing blanks into milk jug, and how they sold the lattes to Muslim shoppers at cost price.
Drugs and Alcohol – Corey Delaney’s Parents
Corey’s mum and dad will host a 45 second rave party followed by a demonstration of home nipple-piercing using a nail gun bought with frequent flyer points.
Getting Australia to qualify for the 2010 Football World Cup – John Howard.
The former PM will auction his famous Wallabies tracksuit to the highest bidder, and donate the proceeds to the financially-strapped Socceroos.
Infognito
cheers...fun post
fog
Mal
I'm not sure. I think they call us the lucky country because Lucky Grills lives here.
U-Turn & Re-Turn.
Mal.
Infognito
GOD we have produced some prodigious talent!! I can still see his huge gut hanging over his belt, in one fo those awful cop shows...and he was a night club performer too I think...shudder...
cheers
fog
P.S. Orble should send some reps to the gab fest in Canberra!! I'm going to recommend it a campaign!! Afterall, I just 'ear bashed' our new PM with an email, about our near undetectable civil rights, so why not further the damage, eh wot guvnah??