NormHarbajan does the Monkey Roll, and Ponting cries KFC Foul.
Ricky Ponting is batting like the scared little white-skinned monkey he is. Every time Harbajhan Singh bowls to him, he makes Charles Darwin look like a better batsman than Sir Donald Bradman. In order to make some runs, Ponting has accused Singh of racism, in the hpe he will be banned from the rest of the series and he can bat against the bowlers who can't get him out first ball every time he bats. The Australian media will paint Ponting like a latter-day Mormom saint worthy of having eternal sex with 100 clones of Michael Clarke's pseudo girlfriend, Laura non Binger Lee Bingle, and populating his own planet called Ponting 17, and they will paint Singh as a destructive Indian flower, with a darker pigment of paint than Van Gough used to paint his famous yellow flowers - monkey poo brown. They will paint Harbajhan like Charles Darwin's uncle Orangutan Darwin (the one who gave birth to God at Christmas time). According to Michael Slater, "There has to be a line drawn in the sand." Tony Greig thinks Michael Slater should play beach cricket, if he wants to draw lines in the sand. Michael Slater reminded Tony Greig of the time he said on camera that an Asian woman getting married in the background looked like a mail-order bride. Tony Greig said Michael Slater should get a haircut. Slater said that if Tony Greig had hair, he'd give the mobile number (3 Mobile) of his hairdresser to Tony Greig as long as he didn't cash in on it on e-Bay. The monkeys at Tooronga Park Zoo did Michael Symonds and Steve Buchnor impersonations and went, "ooh ooh ooh, aah, aah, aah." Ian Healey said they were practising their dead-ball signals for when monkeys take over from the third umpire. Richie Benaud wants to know why a bronze statue of him wasn't painted white but was left in monkey-coloured bronze. Racism in sport and denials on television of the absence of racism in sport? Equals.
I just think you're still upset over the 2003 WC final when Ponting and Martyn tore you guy's to shreds
Mal
Um, I'm Australian. Um, I'm taking the piss. Um, I'm not being serious at all. Actually, forget it. No-one understands satire, parody or deadpan writing anymore.
U-Turn & Re-Turn.
Mal.
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
But i'll take your word for it champ. Take it easy
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
Depressing, isn't it? How could you miss the satire in this when it splats you right in the face?