NormPM Rudd unveils new Immigration Test questions.
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has released his first draft of a revised list of true/false questions immigrants will have to get right before becoming Australian citizens. “By putting the answers in the pamphlet in 28 languages we hope that non English speaking immigrants will be able to get most of them right by the seventh try.”
Kangaroos learnt to hop when Captain Cook’s men shot at the aborigines and missed.
Australian Rules Football was introduced to Australia by Italians working on the Snowy River Scheme using a spaghetti meatball they kicked out of shape, because they couldn’t afford a real football.
Meat Pies were originally made of stale bread & butter pudding filled with rabbit gristle, not the minced leftovers from the abattoirs and recycled cardboard.
Holden cars are named after Australian Idol judge Mark Holden.
Don Bradman’s average of 99.94 is still the highest HSC score at Bowral High School.
Detention Centres are English schools for people who fail the Immigration Test.
The saying ‘Throw another prawn on the barbie’ is an expression of Aussie mateship when blokes find out a footballer is playing with his sister’s doll in the changeroom toilets.
Ayers Rock turns nuclear orange at night because it is a toxic waste dump.
Australia’s capital city was named after the country’s famous bush poet ACT ‘Canberra’ Patterson.
Ned Kelly’s last words were, ‘Life is stuffed.’
The big M outside McDonald’s stands for Mosque and as soon as there are more Muslims in Australia than members of any other religion, all their restaurants will be converted into prayer centres.
Vegemite is recycled and liquefied burnt toast.
Phar Lap was the only Australian horse to have a heart transplant and win the Melbourne Cup the same year.
Australia’s national colours of green and gold are symbolic of a VB label and a pizza with lots of pineapple and cheese on top.
Advance Australia Fair was Kylie Minogue’s follow up to ‘I should be so lucky.’
The Sydney Opera House was designed by Paul Hogan and Ken Done during a smoko break on the Harbour Bridge to represent bedsheets and pillowcases billowing on a Hill’s Hoist clothes line on a windy day.
Dingoes make good pets for children.
Before becoming Prime Minister and marrying Dawn Fraser, Harold Holt won the 1500 metres freestyle at the Tokyo Olympics.
‘All over the place like madwoman’s custard’ is a saying that means Australian dairy farmers can’t compete with cheap imported milk.
Australia is called the lucky country because they are so tolerant they let immigrants set up their own little communities and don’t expect them to adapt to the Australian way of life.
Before she became the leader of One Nation, Pauline Hanson ran a takeaway Chinese restaurant at Surfer’s Paradise.
Australia is a really safe place for backpackers and tourists in general.
Anzac Day is held in honour of soldiers who fought to keep the White Australia Policy going, and soldiers who were cruelly beaten by Asians.
The stars on the Australian flag symbolise we are the 51st – 57th States of America, therefore it is not against the law to burn it in public and put the video on U-Tube.
Australia is the best place to bring drugs into and commit bad crimes because you won’t get punished like you do overseas.
David Hicks is innocent and should be allowed to go to university and become Prime Minister one day.
The most famous quote by an Australian Prime Minister was, “By 2020 no Australian will not be able to speak Mandarin.”
Kangaroos learnt to hop when Captain Cook’s men shot at the aborigines and missed.
Australian Rules Football was introduced to Australia by Italians working on the Snowy River Scheme using a spaghetti meatball they kicked out of shape, because they couldn’t afford a real football.
Meat Pies were originally made of stale bread & butter pudding filled with rabbit gristle, not the minced leftovers from the abattoirs and recycled cardboard.
Holden cars are named after Australian Idol judge Mark Holden.
Don Bradman’s average of 99.94 is still the highest HSC score at Bowral High School.
Detention Centres are English schools for people who fail the Immigration Test.
The saying ‘Throw another prawn on the barbie’ is an expression of Aussie mateship when blokes find out a footballer is playing with his sister’s doll in the changeroom toilets.
Ayers Rock turns nuclear orange at night because it is a toxic waste dump.
Australia’s capital city was named after the country’s famous bush poet ACT ‘Canberra’ Patterson.
Ned Kelly’s last words were, ‘Life is stuffed.’
The big M outside McDonald’s stands for Mosque and as soon as there are more Muslims in Australia than members of any other religion, all their restaurants will be converted into prayer centres.
Vegemite is recycled and liquefied burnt toast.
Phar Lap was the only Australian horse to have a heart transplant and win the Melbourne Cup the same year.
Australia’s national colours of green and gold are symbolic of a VB label and a pizza with lots of pineapple and cheese on top.
Advance Australia Fair was Kylie Minogue’s follow up to ‘I should be so lucky.’
The Sydney Opera House was designed by Paul Hogan and Ken Done during a smoko break on the Harbour Bridge to represent bedsheets and pillowcases billowing on a Hill’s Hoist clothes line on a windy day.
Dingoes make good pets for children.
Before becoming Prime Minister and marrying Dawn Fraser, Harold Holt won the 1500 metres freestyle at the Tokyo Olympics.
‘All over the place like madwoman’s custard’ is a saying that means Australian dairy farmers can’t compete with cheap imported milk.
Australia is called the lucky country because they are so tolerant they let immigrants set up their own little communities and don’t expect them to adapt to the Australian way of life.
Before she became the leader of One Nation, Pauline Hanson ran a takeaway Chinese restaurant at Surfer’s Paradise.
Australia is a really safe place for backpackers and tourists in general.
Anzac Day is held in honour of soldiers who fought to keep the White Australia Policy going, and soldiers who were cruelly beaten by Asians.
The stars on the Australian flag symbolise we are the 51st – 57th States of America, therefore it is not against the law to burn it in public and put the video on U-Tube.
Australia is the best place to bring drugs into and commit bad crimes because you won’t get punished like you do overseas.
David Hicks is innocent and should be allowed to go to university and become Prime Minister one day.
The most famous quote by an Australian Prime Minister was, “By 2020 no Australian will not be able to speak Mandarin.”
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