NormLiesel Jones converts grandma’s stockings into swimming cossie for Beijing assault.
"There wasn't enough material for a cap. I'll be using Gran's bras for that.
Part time model and full-time personal ego-stroker, Liesel Jones, was trying on her grandma’s underwear on the weekend for the annual Myer Grey Power fashion parade. Attempting to put her left leg into a stocking, and at the same time hopping all over the bedroom floor, she slipped and fell head first into a the right leg of Gran’s stockings, wrapping the suspenders around her midriff. When she stood up, Gran said, “Apart from the fact you look like you’re about to rob a bank, I see potential here.” Gran grabbed her dressmaking scissors and freed Liesel’s head. Which took quite a while, as she didn’t want to muck up her hair. “That’s better,” Gran said. “What a great look. You should wear it as a swimming cossie.” Liesel swam a few laps in Gran’s bath, and had to agree, but then went a step further. Without tripping over this time. “Why don’t we design a whole swimming cossie range for Beijing?” Liesel said to the mirror. “Are you talking to me?” Gran asked. Liesel nodded to her own reflection, and they set to work on Gran’s old pedal-powered Singer sewing machine. Both Gran and Liesel were ecstatic at the results. “What about a men’s cossie?” Gran asked. Liesel responded with, “Let’s market them as unisex cossies. Thorpy likes the full body suit and we can sell the left over ones at the Sydney Mardi Gras.” And so they did. And now Gran’s stocking cossie is all the rage. Liesel expects her Me and Gran calendar to be available at K-Mart by Saturday. All proceeds will go to buying an electric sewing machine for Gran.
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This was hilarious.