The Chair of the Board (2006)
Peers out.
I’ve tried.
Removes hands from face.
It’s more like a blue flame.
Erects an index finger.
Is thought the light that makes ideas visible?
Dismantles erection.
Did I say that?
Looks at a once shaking leg.
The more I think about this uncontrollable leg the more it gets out of hand.
Hunched over.
Visions of a jack-hammer leg boring a hole in the floor.
Head pans across the room.
I wish I could bore the whole floor.
Uncertain.
Am I?
Index finger meets nose.
The leg is a flaw; a nervous thing, no doubt.
Index finger taps nose.
Can anyone see this leg?
Index finger massages nose.
Maybe.
Stares at 45 degrees down and finger comes off .
It’s almost over now.
Looks up.
I assure you.
Looks down.
I assure me.
Stares into space.
I: sure me; who else bar?
Looks down and around and all over.
I could be someone other than me.
Shoulders shrug.
What of it?
Surveys the members.
Shall we call it quits?
Leans back.
I was never here.
Leans forward.
Where was I, if not here?
Looks ahead.
I’ve missed something.
Prays.
This endless eternal internal prattle never ends.
Cuts the air with prayer-hands.
End!
Pauses.
It’s made me miss vital facts.
Cleans teeth with tongue.
I’ll never catch up.
Cleans gums with teeth.
Try as I might.
Glares to the side.
See, there I go.
Purses lips.
I’ve missed more.
Bottom lip pushes top lip up to the nose and relaxes.
Perhaps the toothless one could say a few words – break the monotony.
Glares.
Break monotony, break!
Blinks and breathes.
The toothless one would not appreciate the attention; halitosis.
Fans the nose.
Red cheeks would say it all despite saying nothing.
Agitated.
Saying it all: look forward to that I do.
Despairs.
Nothing says something like nothing.
Rubs hands together.
The thing about nothing is that it’s nowhere.
Examines palms.
In the back of my head: nothing is the air around you.
Looks at the air.
Air is not nothing.
Scratches knuckles.
Spirit is.
Squeezes hands.
My capacity to entertain myself is greater than to do the same for anyone else.
Looks for empty spaces.
This can’t be a good show; the crowd has thinned.
Sniffs the air.
Maybe there is a fire.
Raises eyebrows.
Would I make it?
Thrusts head forward.
Pushing and trampling my way to glorious safety.
Runs fingers through hair.
First out I’d lock the doors behind me to keep the fire controlled.
Nods head.
Some would perish.
Nods head with more force.
All of us perish.
Head abates.
We are all perishables.
Winces.
Those with dental courage would get a proper burial and those with crematory preferences would save money.
Indignant.
There you go, I’d be saving you all.
Notices the members.
Look at all the baby birds at meal time.
Strikes the air with an index finger.
Mum says: out you go, it’s time for you to go, go.
Shakes head wearily.
I can’t do it anymore.
Heavy head and eyes.
Find nourishment elsewhere; I’m tired of regurgitating for an ungrateful progeny.
Eyes and head light.
I was once ungrateful.
Glib.
Some of us, no doubt, will dispute this.
Looks to the distances.
You all know me and you think: ungrateful?
Bombast.
Never.
Tastes the mouth.
Was.
Stares at a point on the floor.
I know me best and maybe I know you best too.
Looks up.
I’d like to think so.
Looks up further.
I’d like to think, so I do.
Eyes level out.
Thinking is not doing.
Falls back into chair.
Not much like thought though really.
Yawns.
More like a vacant premises with prospective tenants coming through for an inspection.
Leans forward and puts on a voice.
Roomy isn’t it?
Leans back and normal voice returns.
Very.
Leans forward and puts on a voice.
What’s that smell and is that rat faeces?
Leans back and normal voice returns.
Most definitely.
Yawns and shakes head.
I’ve tried.
Removes hands from face.
It’s more like a blue flame.
Erects an index finger.
Is thought the light that makes ideas visible?
Dismantles erection.
Did I say that?
Looks at a once shaking leg.
The more I think about this uncontrollable leg the more it gets out of hand.
Hunched over.
Visions of a jack-hammer leg boring a hole in the floor.
Head pans across the room.
I wish I could bore the whole floor.
Am I?
Index finger meets nose.
The leg is a flaw; a nervous thing, no doubt.
Index finger taps nose.
Can anyone see this leg?
Index finger massages nose.
Maybe.
Stares at 45 degrees down and finger comes off .
It’s almost over now.
Looks up.
I assure you.
Looks down.
I assure me.
Stares into space.
I: sure me; who else bar?
Looks down and around and all over.
I could be someone other than me.
Shoulders shrug.
What of it?
Surveys the members.
Shall we call it quits?
Leans back.
I was never here.
Leans forward.
Where was I, if not here?
Looks ahead.
I’ve missed something.
Prays.
This endless eternal internal prattle never ends.
Cuts the air with prayer-hands.
End!
Pauses.
It’s made me miss vital facts.
Cleans teeth with tongue.
I’ll never catch up.
Cleans gums with teeth.
Try as I might.
Glares to the side.
See, there I go.
Purses lips.
I’ve missed more.
Bottom lip pushes top lip up to the nose and relaxes.
Perhaps the toothless one could say a few words – break the monotony.
Glares.
Break monotony, break!
Blinks and breathes.
The toothless one would not appreciate the attention; halitosis.
Fans the nose.
Red cheeks would say it all despite saying nothing.
Agitated.
Saying it all: look forward to that I do.
Despairs.
Nothing says something like nothing.
Rubs hands together.
The thing about nothing is that it’s nowhere.
Examines palms.
In the back of my head: nothing is the air around you.
Looks at the air.
Air is not nothing.
Scratches knuckles.
Spirit is.
Squeezes hands.
My capacity to entertain myself is greater than to do the same for anyone else.
Looks for empty spaces.
This can’t be a good show; the crowd has thinned.
Sniffs the air.
Maybe there is a fire.
Raises eyebrows.
Would I make it?
Thrusts head forward.
Pushing and trampling my way to glorious safety.
Runs fingers through hair.
First out I’d lock the doors behind me to keep the fire controlled.
Nods head.
Some would perish.
Nods head with more force.
All of us perish.
Head abates.
We are all perishables.
Winces.
Those with dental courage would get a proper burial and those with crematory preferences would save money.
Indignant.
There you go, I’d be saving you all.
Notices the members.
Look at all the baby birds at meal time.
Strikes the air with an index finger.
Mum says: out you go, it’s time for you to go, go.
Shakes head wearily.
I can’t do it anymore.
Heavy head and eyes.
Find nourishment elsewhere; I’m tired of regurgitating for an ungrateful progeny.
Eyes and head light.
I was once ungrateful.
Glib.
Some of us, no doubt, will dispute this.
Looks to the distances.
You all know me and you think: ungrateful?
Bombast.
Never.
Tastes the mouth.
Was.
Stares at a point on the floor.
I know me best and maybe I know you best too.
Looks up.
I’d like to think so.
Looks up further.
I’d like to think, so I do.
Eyes level out.
Thinking is not doing.
Falls back into chair.
Not much like thought though really.
Yawns.
More like a vacant premises with prospective tenants coming through for an inspection.
Leans forward and puts on a voice.
Roomy isn’t it?
Leans back and normal voice returns.
Very.
Leans forward and puts on a voice.
What’s that smell and is that rat faeces?
Leans back and normal voice returns.
Most definitely.
Yawns and shakes head.












