NormTHE GOOD GUYS PREQUEL, DAMAGED GOODS, 2010 (THE REAL 'UNDERBELLY')
"I can help you. Pornography. Kiddy porn, I can get you kiddy porn."
DENNIS, A PAEDOPHILE
AB, ANOTHER PAEDOPHILE
A GROWN MAN, IN THE ROLE OF A LITTLE GIRL
A GROWN WOMAN, IN THE ROLE OF A LITTLE BOY
ANOTHER GROWN MAN, IN THE ROLE OF ANOTHER LITTLE BOY
POLICE
A MOTEL ROOM
TWO DOUBLE BEDS
Dennis is putting his pants back on in the dark.
Hits the bedside light.
Dennis is lying next to a little girl played by a grown man and dressed that way.
Double bed.
0.1
DENNIS: What’s your name, little girl?
A GROWN MAN: What’s my name?
DENNIS: I knew your father.
A GROWN MAN: My dad? You knew him?
DENNIS: I know your father.
A GROWN MAN: You know him?
DENNIS: I met him once.
A GROWN MAN: What’s your name?
DENNIS: I met him once or twice.
A GROWN MAN: What is it?
DENNIS: I met him two or three times.
A GROWN MAN: He went away.
DENNIS: I met him then.
A GROWN MAN: I don't remember you.
DENNIS: Now, what's your name, little girl?
A GROWN MAN: I don't remember.
DENNIS: Names aren't important.
A GROWN MAN: He gave it to me.
DENNIS: Your father told me he did.
A GROWN MAN: He said it reminded him of me.
DENNIS: I never knew my father.
A GROWN MAN: He said he remembered me by it.
DENNIS: I remember him saying something about it.
A GROWN MAN: When I grow up I'm going to change it.
DENNIS: He said he remembered you by it.
A GROWN MAN: I remember you now.
DENNIS: What's my name?
A GROWN MAN: I remember.
DENNIS: I've never seen you before.
A GROWN MAN: You came to the house.
DENNIS: That was yesterday.
A GROWN MAN: You took us out.
DENNIS: And here we are.
A GROWN MAN: I remember something about ice cream.
DENNIS: It's very cold.
A GROWN MAN: And you had put a hand on me.
DENNIS: I remember how cold it was.
A GROWN MAN: And you said my name.
DENNIS: I don't remember that.
A GROWN MAN: And it reminded me of him.
DENNIS: I would have remembered that.
A GROWN MAN: And you said it was nice and warm.
DENNIS: I seem to remember something like that.
A GROWN MAN: And then you put it in my mouth.
DENNIS: That doesn't sound right.
A GROWN MAN: And then you put it in in.
DENNIS: I'm not getting anything.
A GROWN MAN: And then you said my name.
DENNIS: What is it?
They lie there. Silent.
AB is lying on another double bed next to Dennis. He turns the bedside light on.
He is lying next to a little boy to be played by a grown woman and dressed that way.
0.2
AB: I remember what it was.
DENNIS: What was it?
AB: I've forgotten.
DENNIS: I'll try and remember that.
AB: It went something like Mary.
DENNIS: Was it Mary?
AB: Mary. That's it.
A GROWN MAN: It's not Mary.
DENNIS: But it's possible.
AB: It's possible.
A GROWN MAN: It's not that.
DENNIS: Mary it is then.
A GROWN MAN: It's not Mary.
DENNIS: It's not possibly anything else.
AB: I think it is.
DENNIS: Mary it is.
A GROWN MAN: It's not Mary.
AB: Do as you're told.
DENNIS: I won't tell you again.
AB: It's Mary.
DENNIS: Mary it is.
A GROWN MAN: I would have remembered.
DENNIS: Your father will hear about this.
AB: We're going to see him.
A GROWN WOMAN: We're going to see him!?
AB: Shut up.
DENNIS: I'm going to tell him what you said, Mary.
AB: That'll shut you up, Mary.
DENNIS: Your father is going to hear all about it.
AB: He's not going to like it.
DENNIS: I won't forget what you said.
AB: He's not about to forget it.
DENNIS: Don't forget to remind me.
AB: Don't forget.
A GROWN WOMAN: I won't forget.
DENNIS: What's your name, little boy?
A GROWN WOMAN: Me?
AB: You never said.
DENNIS: Must have just forgot.
AB: Who forgets their own name?
DENNIS: Who just forgets?
A GROWN WOMAN: I don't know.
0.3
A GROWN MAN: I know.
DENNIS: I'd almost forgotten you were here.
A GROWN MAN: I know.
DENNIS: What's his name, Mary?
AB: What's your name?
A GROWN WOMAN: I don't know.
A GROWN MAN: I can't remember.
DENNIS: I'll remember that.
AB: Don't forget.
DENNIS: Don't forget to remind me.
AB: Don't forget.
A GROWN WOMAN: I won't.
A GROWN MAN: It went something like...
DENNIS: You had better not.
A GROWN WOMAN: Something like?
GROWN MAN: Something like...
DENNIS: Something like Joseph?
AB: Was it Joseph?
A GROWN MAN: It could be.
DENNIS: He doesn't look like a Joseph.
AB: Not even close.
A GROWN WOMAN: What do I look like?
AB: You look like a little boy.
DENNIS: He is a little boy.
AB: No wonder then.
DENNIS: You didn't know?
AB: He never said.
DENNIS: I knew.
AB: How did you know?
A GROWN WOMAN: I know.
DENNIS: I know.
AB: Nobody told me.
A GROWN MAN: I could have told you that.
DENNIS: Shut up, little girl.
AB: I didn't know.
DENNIS: I nearly forgot...
AB: What?
DENNIS: I nearly forgot to tell you...
AB: Tell me what?
DENNIS: I nearly forgot to tell you that...
AB: You nearly forgot to tell me what?
DENNIS: I nearly forgot to tell you.
AB: Don't forget.
A GROWN WOMAN: I won't.
DENNIS: What's his name, Mary?
A GROWN MAN: It starts with a...
AB: With a...?
A GROWN MAN: With a...
AB: A...?
0.4
DENNIS: Don't tell me.
AB: Is it Adam?
A GROWN MAN: Adam!
AB: Adam!?
A GROWN MAN: It's not Adam!
AB: I'll find out.
DENNIS: I'm going to ask your father.
AB: Tell me.
DENNIS: I'm going to call him.
AB: Do you have the number?
DENNIS: What's the number?
AB: What's his number?
DENNIS: What is it?
AB: I had it.
A GROWN MAN: You'll wake him.
AB: He's not asleep.
DENNIS: It's not dark yet.
AB: You're still with us?
DENNIS: Is he awake?
A GROWN MAN: He's gone to sleep.
A GROWN WOMAN: I'm still awake.
AB: I had his number.
DENNIS: I can recall you had it.
AB: It started with a number and then went on from there.
DENNIS: That sounds about right.
AB: He gave it to me.
DENNIS: I don't remember it that way.
AB: It's in my pants.
DENNIS: Those ones?
AB: Get my pants.
A GROWN WOMAN: These pants?
AB: What am I saying?
DENNIS: What are you saying?
AB: I left those pants at the house.
DENNIS: Get back to bed.
AB: It's way past your bedtime.
DENNIS: Do you have your father's number, Mary?
AB: Can you call him?
DENNIS: He might want to speak to you.
A GROWN MAN: My dad? Speak to me?
A GROWN WOMAN: Call him, Mary.
A GROWN MAN: I can't.
DENNIS: Call him.
A GROWN MAN: I don't have his number.
AB: It started with a...something.
DENNIS: That should get you started.
AB: What are you going to say?
DENNIS: Say something.
A GROWN MAN: I can't remember.
0.5
DENNIS: Is that the best you can do?
AB: Aren't you going to answer?
DENNIS: Answer the man.
A GROWN MAN: I don't know.
DENNIS: I'll tell you what to say.
AB: Say you've forgotten.
DENNIS: Say you can't remember.
A GROWN MAN: I can't remember.
DENNIS: I won't forget this.
AB: I'll try to remember that.
DENNIS: I'm making a note of it.
AB: I need not remind you then.
DENNIS: Don't remind me.
AB: Remind me not to.
DENNIS: Don't forget to remind him.
A GROWN MAN: Don't forget.
DENNIS: He must be in the book.
AB: What's his name?
DENNIS: Other than 'dad'.
A GROWN WOMAN: I only know him as 'daddy'.
DENNIS: Other than 'daddy'.
AB: Not the christian name.
DENNIS: And don't say, "daddy".
AB: I won't hear it.
DENNIS: What's your father's name?
AB: You know this.
A GROWN MAN: He never said.
DENNIS: Why didn't you say something?
AB: I remember your father.
A GROWN MAN: What did you call him?
AB: I can't remember now.
DENNIS: I said, "why didn't you say something?"
A GROWN MAN: You never asked.
DENNIS: You're really asking for it.
A GROWN MAN: Am I?
AB: You really are.
DENNIS: How would you know?
AB: How should I know?
DENNIS: How would I know?
AB: Don't ask.
DENNIS: Who's asking?
AB: Don't.
DENNIS: Who's asking?
A GROWN MAN: Who?
DENNIS: Who!
A GROWN MAN: You?
DENNIS: You're telling me.
AB: Tell me something I don't know.
A GROWN WOMAN: I don't know too much.
0.6
AB: Tell me.
A GROWN WOMAN: Yes?
AB: What's your name, little boy?
A GROWN WOMAN: It doesn't matter.
AB: Why?
A GROWN WOMAN: I can't recall.
AB: Oh.
DENNIS: It does matter.
AB: Oh, it matters, all right.
DENNIS: Your name, little boy.
AB: The name.
DENNIS: Two words.
AB: How many syllables?
DENNIS: How many syllables, little boy?
AB: Let me guess.
A GROWN WOMAN(exhibiting the elastic of the undies): Is this it?
AB: Two words.
A GROWN WOMAN: Any clues?
AB: It could be.
A GROWN WOMAN: What does it say?
AB: It's hard to say.
DENNIS: Look it up.
AB: Give me the book.
DENNIS: Here.
AB: There must be a million of them.
DENNIS: Start calling the numbers.
AB: It's ringing.
DENNIS: It's ringing!
AB: Oh.
DENNIS: Is it him?
AB: Yes.
DENNIS: Say something.
AB: Hello.
DENNIS: Ask!
AB: Yes, hello.
DENNIS: What?
AB: They hung up.
DENNIS: What did they say?
AB: I had the wrong number.
DENNIS: Did you hear that?
A GROWN MAN: No.
DENNIS: Don't play dumb with me, girl.
A GROWN MAN: I'm not.
DENNIS: You heard me.
AB: You heard the man.
DENNIS: Did you hear?
AB: You heard.
DENNIS: What's the fucking number?
AB: The fucking number.
0.7
DENNIS: What's your fucking number, little girl?
AB: Answer the man.
DENNIS: Answer me!
AB: Your time's running out.
DENNIS: What time is it?
AB: It must be getting late.
DENNIS: Well past your bedtime.
AB: It's too late for that.
DENNIS: Aren't you getting tired?
AB: Hardly a day goes past when I'm not getting a bit.
DENNIS: Getting tired?
AB: Tired?
A GROWN WOMAN: No.
DENNIS: Stressed!?
A GROWN MAN: No.
DENNIS: Kids these days.
AB: Tell me about it.
DENNIS: Tell him about it.
A GROWN MAN: I'm not ready for bed.
DENNIS: Let me be the judge of that.
AB: Would you look at the time?!
DENNIS: Time for bed, kids.
AB: Where does the time go?
DENNIS: Have you brushed your teeth?
A GROWN MAN: No.
DENNIS: No?
A GROWN MAN: No, not yet.
DENNIS: Your father will hear of this.
AB: Have you brushed yours?
A GROWN WOMAN: Yaha.
AB: You're such a good little boy.
A GROWN WOMAN: Tell that to my dad.
AB: I'll call him right now.
A GROWN WOMAN: I'll dial the number.
AB: I think it's engaged.
DENNIS: Give it here.
AB: Is it?
DENNIS: Hang on a minute.
AB: Well?
DENNIS: I think it's engaged.
AB: I think I said that, didn't I?
DENNIS: Try again.
AB: I'll do it tomorrow.
DENNIS: Tomorrow?
AB: At the very latest.
DENNIS: What if he's out?
AB: I'll leave a message.
DENNIS: A fucking message! Brilliant.
AB: I like fucking messages.
AB hits the lights. Dennis hits the lights.
1.1
Dennis hits the lights.
DENNIS: Don't you just love fucking children?
AB: Why?
DENNIS: He had the number all along.
AB: Who?
DENNIS: The little boy lying over there.
AB: Next to me?
DENNIS: In your bed.
AB: Makes you think, doesn't it?
DENNIS: It makes you think, all right.
AB: What?
DENNIS: It makes you think.
AB: What?
A GROWN WOMAN: Nothing.
AB: What do you want?
A GROWN WOMAN: Nothing?
AB: Turn the light on.
A GROWN WOMAN: I can't reach.
AB: I can't fucking reach.
A GROWN WOMAN: Is that it?
AB: That's not it.
A GROWN WOMAN: I can't see a thing.
AB: Who's there?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: It's only me.
AB: Only who?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Only me.
AB: What?
A GROWN WOMAN: I can't see.
AB: Get the light.
A GROWN WOMAN: I'm trying.
AB: You're not trying hard enough.
DENNIS: Don't you just love fucking children?
AB: I love fucking children.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I couldn't sleep.
AB: What's not to love?
A GROWN WOMAN: You're hurting me.
AB: I can't see what I'm fucking doing.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Can I turn on the light?
AB: Would you?
A GROWN WOMAN: I'm doing it.
AB: I don't really care.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Ow!
AB: What was that?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I hurt myself.
AB: Let me see.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I think it's bleeding.
AB: Let me see.
A GROWN WOMAN: Who cares?
AB: Let's have a look.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I think I can feel a gash.
1.2
AB hits the lights.
Another Grown Man in the role of another little boy stands between the two beds.
AB: It's nothing.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I thought it was bleeding.
A GROWN WOMAN: Who cares?
DENNIS: Is it your leg?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I thought I could feel a gash.
AB: I don't see a fucking gash, girly.
A GROWN WOMAN: Why would you?
AB: Why wouldn't I?
A GROWN WOMAN: Look at his leg.
AB: I'm looking.
A GROWN WOMAN: He doesn't have a gash.
AB: How can you tell?
A GROWN WOMAN: Can't you tell?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: It felt like a gash.
DENNIS: Give us a look.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: It feels like an egg.
DENNIS: But you're not bleeding, are you?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: It feels funny.
DENNIS: It doesn't looks serious.
AB: I'd say, it's not.
A GROWN WOMAN: I could have told you that.
DENNIS: What's your name, anyway, little girl?
A GROWN WOMAN: Don't ask.
DENNIS: Who asked you?!
A GROWN WOMAN: I forgot.
AB: Do you remember me?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I think so.
A GROWN WOMAN: I don't.
DENNIS: I asked you a question.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I knew that.
AB: We met last night.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Your face looks familiar.
DENNIS: I knew your father.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I remember now.
DENNIS: I know your father, I should say.
A GROWN WOMAN: I could have told you that.
AB: I think it was you.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: What was I wearing?
AB: I remember something about it.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Did you see my gash?
A GROWN WOMAN: What gash?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I meant 'egg'.
DENNIS: I can't see anything.
AB: It's nothing.
A GROWN MAN: I have a bit of a sore gash.
DENNIS: Shut up about that.
AB: Nobody wants to hear about your bloody gash, Mary.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Who's Mary?
DENNIS: Mary.
1.3
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I can't sleep.
AB: Have you tried closing your eyes?
A GROWN WOMAN: What about your mouth?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I feel funny.
A GROWN WOMAN: You don't look funny.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I think I want to go home.
DENNIS: Have a little lie down here.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I should call my mum.
DENNIS: It's about time.
AB: I should have thought so.
DENNIS: What is the time?
AB: It's too late.
DENNIS: Too late?
AB: To call mum.
DENNIS: My mum?
AB: Anyone's.
DENNIS: My mum's dead, I think.
AB: Call her.
DENNIS: I wouldn't know what to say.
AB: I heard she's dead, anyway.
DENNIS: I told you so.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Can I use your phone?
AB: It's gone dead.
DENNIS: The line's dead.
AB: It's no use.
DENNIS: I wouldn't bother.
AB: The lines are dead.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Can I try?
AB: If you honestly have to!
A GROWN WOMAN: Honestly!
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Honestly?
DENNIS: Be my guest.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: It's ringing.
DENNIS: What happened?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: No answer.
DENNIS: So?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I should call my dad.
AB: What are you doing out of bed anyway?
DENNIS: It's time for bed.
AB: Time for bed, young lady.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Can't I stay up a bit longer?
DENNIS: Bed.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: But I want to stay up.
DENNIS: I'm telling you.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I need to go the toilet, again.
AB: Again?!
A GROWN WOMAN: But you just went.
DENNIS: You just went to the toilet.
AB: So that's where you went.
1.4
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I really have to go.
AB: Do you want me to take you?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Where is it?
AB: Do you want me to show you?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I don't know where it is.
AB: It's this way.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I really have to go.
DENNIS: I thought they'd never go.
A GROWN WOMAN: You're telling me.
DENNIS: I'm telling you.
A GROWN MAN: Who?
DENNIS: I'm telling you.
A GROWN MAN: What?
DENNIS: I thought they'd never go.
A GROWN MAN: Where did they go?
A GROWN WOMAN: They had to go the toilet.
A GROWN MAN: I didn't know we got one.
DENNIS: I didn't know we 'had' one.
A GROWN MAN: I didn't know we had one.
A GROWN WOMAN: We still do.
A GROWN MAN: I'll remember that.
DENNIS: Why don't you come over here?
A GROWN WOMAN: I don't want to go that far.
DENNIS: It's like I don't even know you.
A GROWN WOMAN: We just met.
DENNIS: It feels like yesterday.
A GROWN WOMAN: When was that?
DENNIS: Yesterday?
A GROWN WOMAN: Yesterday.
DENNIS: It was when we met.
A GROWN MAN: We met yesterday.
A GROWN WOMAN: What's today?
A GROWN MAN: The day after.
DENNIS: Yesterday?
A GROWN MAN: Yes.
A GROWN WOMAN: What's tomorrow?
A GROWN MAN: Tomorrow's a big day.
A GROWN WOMAN: And today?
A GROWN MAN: Just one of those days.
DENNIS: Do you know what day it is today?
A GROWN MAN: Today?
DENNIS: Yes, today.
A GROWN MAN: Just one of those days.
DENNIS: Today is the day we remember.
A GROWN WOMAN: What do we remember?
DENNIS: What you thought you'd forgotten.
A GROWN MAN: Namely?
DENNIS: What, you don't remember?
A GROWN MAN: What is there to remember?
1.5
DENNIS: You can start with your name.
A GROWN MAN: We went through this.
A GROWN WOMAN: Remember?
DENNIS: Can I phone a friend?
A GROWN MAN: Are you asking me?
DENNIS: I’ll phone a friend.
A GROWN MAN: Don’t you want to ask the audience?
DENNIS: Hello?
A GROWN WOMAN: Who’s he talking to?
A GROWN MAN: Be quiet.
DENNIS: Yes, hello.
A GROWN MAN: Don’t interrupt.
DENNIS: Yes, is he there?
A GROWN MAN: He’s in the shower?
DENNIS: There’s no need to be like that.
A GROWN WOMAN: He’s not talking to you.
A GROWN MAN: How would you know?
DENNIS: Go fuck yourself then.
A GROWN WOMAN: Who did you speak to?
DENNIS: I’ll try again later, my little friend.
A GROWN WOMAN: You can ask me.
DENNIS: I’m not going to ask you again.
A GROWN WOMAN: Did you ask me in the first place?
DENNIS: Don’t ask me to answer that.
A GROWN WOMAN: How come?
DENNIS: You know I can’t answer that.
A GROWN WOMAN: I do?
A GROWN MAN: I do.
DENNIS: I know.
A GROWN MAN: Do you?
DENNIS: You know, I can’t answer that.
A GROWN MAN: I’m afraid you can’t.
DENNIS: You should be.
A GROWN WOMAN: Why’s that?
DENNIS: Because they’ll be here soon.
A GROWN WOMAN: For real?
DENNIS: They’ll take you away.
A GROWN MAN: They’ll take you away.
DENNIS: There’s no need to be sore.
A GROWN WOMAN: They’ll be here?
DENNIS: Put this on.
A GROWN MAN: I’m not putting this on.
A GROWN WOMAN: What is it?
DENNIS: It’ll stop the pain.
A GROWN WOMAN: I suppose it can’t hurt.
A GROWN MAN: I don’t suppose it can’t.
DENNIS: Put it on.
A GROWN WOMAN: See how it feels.
1.6
A GROWN MAN: Do you even know what it is?
A GROWN WOMAN: You should hear yourself.
DENNIS: I hear what you’re saying
A GROWN MAN: Did you hear that fucking noise?
DENNIS: I beg your fucking pardon.
A GROWN WOMAN: I can’t hear anything.
A GROWN MAN: Shut up a second.
DENNIS: It sounded like a scream.
A GROWN MAN: That’s not what I heard.
A GROWN WOMAN: I don’t hear anything.
A GROWN MAN: It’s gone now.
DENNIS: Have you got it on yet?
A GROWN MAN: Put it on yourself.
DENNIS: Don’t fucking tempt me, you little cunt.
A GROWN WOMAN: Don’t make him come over there.
DENNIS: Don’t make me come over there.
A GROWN MAN: Make me.
DENNIS: You’ll be sorry.
A GROWN WOMAN: How come?
DENNIS: Do I have to explain myself?
A GROWN WOMAN: What?
DENNIS: Do I have to repeat myself?
A GROWN WOMAN: What?
DENNIS: I asked you a question.
A GROWN WOMAN: What?
DENNIS: I won’t ask again.
A GROWN WOMAN: What?
DENNIS: You’re totally fucked!
A GROWN WOMAN: Me? What?
DENNIS: You heard.
A GROWN MAN: Put it on.
A GROWN WOMAN: What is that?
A GROWN MAN: This?
DENNIS: It’s none of your business.
A GROWN WOMAN: What business would that be?
A GROWN MAN: What’s going to happen to us?
DENNIS: How shall I put this?
A GROWN WOMAN: Do you even know?
DENNIS: You’ll find out soon enough.
A GROWN WOMAN: I can’t wait.
DENNIS: Wait here.
A GROWN MAN: Where are you going?
DENNIS: I’m not going anywhere.
A GROWN MAN: Can I come with you?
DENNIS: You’re not going anywhere.
A GROWN MAN: Don’t leave me.
DENNIS: I won’t be long.
A GROWN MAN: Promise?
DENNIS: I’ll be right back.
1.7
A GROWN MAN: I thought he’d never leave.
A GROWN WOMAN: What are we going to do?
A GROWN MAN: When?
A GROWN WOMAN: Now that we’re alone.
A GROWN MAN: We can’t just leave.
A GROWN WOMAN: I never said we could.
A GROWN MAN: Don’t even think about it.
DENNIS: I will be right back.
A GROWN MAN: I didn’t see you there.
DENNIS: Did you hear something?
A GROWN MAN: There’s someone at the door.
DENNIS: Shit.
A GROWN WOMAN: I didn’t hear anything.
A GROWN MAN: Maybe it was just me.
A GROWN MAN: There it goes again.
A GROWN WOMAN: I don’t hear anything.
DENNIS: You’re imagining things.
A GROWN MAN: There!
A GROWN WOMAN: Where?
A GROWN MAN: It sounds like someone is trying to get in.
DENNIS: It’s time for bed, young lady.
POLICE: Knock, knock.
DENNIS: Shit.
POLICE: Knock, knock
DENNIS: Who is it?
POLICE: Police.
DENNIS: Police, who?
POLICE: Police. Open up.
POLICE: Police.
POLICE: Open up.
DENNIS: Shit. Shit.
POLICE: Open up.
DENNIS: Shit.
POLICE: Open up in there.
DENNIS: Nothing right now, thank you.
POLICE: We know you’re in there.
DENNIS: Shit.
A GROWN MAN: Who is it?
A GROWN WOMAN: Who’s there?
DENNIS: I can help you.
POLICE: Can you open this door?
DENNIS: Pornography.
POLICE: Open this door.
DENNIS: Kiddy porn.
POLICE: Open it.
DENNIS:I can get you kiddy porn.
POLICE: Give me the keys.
POLICE: I thought I gave them to you.
POLICE: What’s that in your hand?
The End.
DENNIS, A PAEDOPHILE
AB, ANOTHER PAEDOPHILE
A GROWN MAN, IN THE ROLE OF A LITTLE GIRL
A GROWN WOMAN, IN THE ROLE OF A LITTLE BOY
ANOTHER GROWN MAN, IN THE ROLE OF ANOTHER LITTLE BOY
POLICE
A MOTEL ROOM
TWO DOUBLE BEDS
Dennis is putting his pants back on in the dark.
Hits the bedside light.
Dennis is lying next to a little girl played by a grown man and dressed that way.
Double bed.
0.1
DENNIS: What’s your name, little girl?
A GROWN MAN: What’s my name?
DENNIS: I knew your father.
A GROWN MAN: My dad? You knew him?
DENNIS: I know your father.
A GROWN MAN: You know him?
DENNIS: I met him once.
A GROWN MAN: What’s your name?
DENNIS: I met him once or twice.
A GROWN MAN: What is it?
DENNIS: I met him two or three times.
A GROWN MAN: He went away.
DENNIS: I met him then.
A GROWN MAN: I don't remember you.
DENNIS: Now, what's your name, little girl?
A GROWN MAN: I don't remember.
DENNIS: Names aren't important.
A GROWN MAN: He gave it to me.
DENNIS: Your father told me he did.
A GROWN MAN: He said it reminded him of me.
DENNIS: I never knew my father.
A GROWN MAN: He said he remembered me by it.
DENNIS: I remember him saying something about it.
A GROWN MAN: When I grow up I'm going to change it.
DENNIS: He said he remembered you by it.
A GROWN MAN: I remember you now.
DENNIS: What's my name?
A GROWN MAN: I remember.
DENNIS: I've never seen you before.
A GROWN MAN: You came to the house.
DENNIS: That was yesterday.
A GROWN MAN: You took us out.
DENNIS: And here we are.
A GROWN MAN: I remember something about ice cream.
DENNIS: It's very cold.
A GROWN MAN: And you had put a hand on me.
DENNIS: I remember how cold it was.
A GROWN MAN: And you said my name.
DENNIS: I don't remember that.
A GROWN MAN: And it reminded me of him.
DENNIS: I would have remembered that.
A GROWN MAN: And you said it was nice and warm.
DENNIS: I seem to remember something like that.
A GROWN MAN: And then you put it in my mouth.
DENNIS: That doesn't sound right.
A GROWN MAN: And then you put it in in.
DENNIS: I'm not getting anything.
A GROWN MAN: And then you said my name.
DENNIS: What is it?
They lie there. Silent.
AB is lying on another double bed next to Dennis. He turns the bedside light on.
He is lying next to a little boy to be played by a grown woman and dressed that way.
0.2
AB: I remember what it was.
DENNIS: What was it?
AB: I've forgotten.
DENNIS: I'll try and remember that.
AB: It went something like Mary.
DENNIS: Was it Mary?
AB: Mary. That's it.
A GROWN MAN: It's not Mary.
DENNIS: But it's possible.
AB: It's possible.
A GROWN MAN: It's not that.
DENNIS: Mary it is then.
A GROWN MAN: It's not Mary.
DENNIS: It's not possibly anything else.
AB: I think it is.
DENNIS: Mary it is.
A GROWN MAN: It's not Mary.
AB: Do as you're told.
DENNIS: I won't tell you again.
AB: It's Mary.
DENNIS: Mary it is.
A GROWN MAN: I would have remembered.
DENNIS: Your father will hear about this.
AB: We're going to see him.
A GROWN WOMAN: We're going to see him!?
AB: Shut up.
DENNIS: I'm going to tell him what you said, Mary.
AB: That'll shut you up, Mary.
DENNIS: Your father is going to hear all about it.
AB: He's not going to like it.
DENNIS: I won't forget what you said.
AB: He's not about to forget it.
DENNIS: Don't forget to remind me.
AB: Don't forget.
A GROWN WOMAN: I won't forget.
DENNIS: What's your name, little boy?
A GROWN WOMAN: Me?
AB: You never said.
DENNIS: Must have just forgot.
AB: Who forgets their own name?
DENNIS: Who just forgets?
A GROWN WOMAN: I don't know.
0.3
A GROWN MAN: I know.
DENNIS: I'd almost forgotten you were here.
A GROWN MAN: I know.
DENNIS: What's his name, Mary?
AB: What's your name?
A GROWN WOMAN: I don't know.
A GROWN MAN: I can't remember.
DENNIS: I'll remember that.
AB: Don't forget.
DENNIS: Don't forget to remind me.
AB: Don't forget.
A GROWN WOMAN: I won't.
A GROWN MAN: It went something like...
DENNIS: You had better not.
A GROWN WOMAN: Something like?
GROWN MAN: Something like...
DENNIS: Something like Joseph?
AB: Was it Joseph?
A GROWN MAN: It could be.
DENNIS: He doesn't look like a Joseph.
AB: Not even close.
A GROWN WOMAN: What do I look like?
AB: You look like a little boy.
DENNIS: He is a little boy.
AB: No wonder then.
DENNIS: You didn't know?
AB: He never said.
DENNIS: I knew.
AB: How did you know?
A GROWN WOMAN: I know.
DENNIS: I know.
AB: Nobody told me.
A GROWN MAN: I could have told you that.
DENNIS: Shut up, little girl.
AB: I didn't know.
DENNIS: I nearly forgot...
AB: What?
DENNIS: I nearly forgot to tell you...
AB: Tell me what?
DENNIS: I nearly forgot to tell you that...
AB: You nearly forgot to tell me what?
DENNIS: I nearly forgot to tell you.
AB: Don't forget.
A GROWN WOMAN: I won't.
DENNIS: What's his name, Mary?
A GROWN MAN: It starts with a...
AB: With a...?
A GROWN MAN: With a...
AB: A...?
0.4
DENNIS: Don't tell me.
AB: Is it Adam?
A GROWN MAN: Adam!
AB: Adam!?
A GROWN MAN: It's not Adam!
AB: I'll find out.
DENNIS: I'm going to ask your father.
AB: Tell me.
DENNIS: I'm going to call him.
AB: Do you have the number?
DENNIS: What's the number?
AB: What's his number?
DENNIS: What is it?
AB: I had it.
A GROWN MAN: You'll wake him.
AB: He's not asleep.
DENNIS: It's not dark yet.
AB: You're still with us?
DENNIS: Is he awake?
A GROWN MAN: He's gone to sleep.
A GROWN WOMAN: I'm still awake.
AB: I had his number.
DENNIS: I can recall you had it.
AB: It started with a number and then went on from there.
DENNIS: That sounds about right.
AB: He gave it to me.
DENNIS: I don't remember it that way.
AB: It's in my pants.
DENNIS: Those ones?
AB: Get my pants.
A GROWN WOMAN: These pants?
AB: What am I saying?
DENNIS: What are you saying?
AB: I left those pants at the house.
DENNIS: Get back to bed.
AB: It's way past your bedtime.
DENNIS: Do you have your father's number, Mary?
AB: Can you call him?
DENNIS: He might want to speak to you.
A GROWN MAN: My dad? Speak to me?
A GROWN WOMAN: Call him, Mary.
A GROWN MAN: I can't.
DENNIS: Call him.
A GROWN MAN: I don't have his number.
AB: It started with a...something.
DENNIS: That should get you started.
AB: What are you going to say?
DENNIS: Say something.
A GROWN MAN: I can't remember.
0.5
DENNIS: Is that the best you can do?
AB: Aren't you going to answer?
DENNIS: Answer the man.
A GROWN MAN: I don't know.
DENNIS: I'll tell you what to say.
AB: Say you've forgotten.
DENNIS: Say you can't remember.
A GROWN MAN: I can't remember.
DENNIS: I won't forget this.
AB: I'll try to remember that.
DENNIS: I'm making a note of it.
AB: I need not remind you then.
DENNIS: Don't remind me.
AB: Remind me not to.
DENNIS: Don't forget to remind him.
A GROWN MAN: Don't forget.
DENNIS: He must be in the book.
AB: What's his name?
DENNIS: Other than 'dad'.
A GROWN WOMAN: I only know him as 'daddy'.
DENNIS: Other than 'daddy'.
AB: Not the christian name.
DENNIS: And don't say, "daddy".
AB: I won't hear it.
DENNIS: What's your father's name?
AB: You know this.
A GROWN MAN: He never said.
DENNIS: Why didn't you say something?
AB: I remember your father.
A GROWN MAN: What did you call him?
AB: I can't remember now.
DENNIS: I said, "why didn't you say something?"
A GROWN MAN: You never asked.
DENNIS: You're really asking for it.
A GROWN MAN: Am I?
AB: You really are.
DENNIS: How would you know?
AB: How should I know?
DENNIS: How would I know?
AB: Don't ask.
DENNIS: Who's asking?
AB: Don't.
DENNIS: Who's asking?
A GROWN MAN: Who?
DENNIS: Who!
A GROWN MAN: You?
DENNIS: You're telling me.
AB: Tell me something I don't know.
A GROWN WOMAN: I don't know too much.
0.6
AB: Tell me.
A GROWN WOMAN: Yes?
AB: What's your name, little boy?
A GROWN WOMAN: It doesn't matter.
AB: Why?
A GROWN WOMAN: I can't recall.
AB: Oh.
DENNIS: It does matter.
AB: Oh, it matters, all right.
DENNIS: Your name, little boy.
AB: The name.
DENNIS: Two words.
AB: How many syllables?
DENNIS: How many syllables, little boy?
AB: Let me guess.
A GROWN WOMAN(exhibiting the elastic of the undies): Is this it?
AB: Two words.
A GROWN WOMAN: Any clues?
AB: It could be.
A GROWN WOMAN: What does it say?
AB: It's hard to say.
DENNIS: Look it up.
AB: Give me the book.
DENNIS: Here.
AB: There must be a million of them.
DENNIS: Start calling the numbers.
AB: It's ringing.
DENNIS: It's ringing!
AB: Oh.
DENNIS: Is it him?
AB: Yes.
DENNIS: Say something.
AB: Hello.
DENNIS: Ask!
AB: Yes, hello.
DENNIS: What?
AB: They hung up.
DENNIS: What did they say?
AB: I had the wrong number.
DENNIS: Did you hear that?
A GROWN MAN: No.
DENNIS: Don't play dumb with me, girl.
A GROWN MAN: I'm not.
DENNIS: You heard me.
AB: You heard the man.
DENNIS: Did you hear?
AB: You heard.
DENNIS: What's the fucking number?
AB: The fucking number.
0.7
DENNIS: What's your fucking number, little girl?
AB: Answer the man.
DENNIS: Answer me!
AB: Your time's running out.
DENNIS: What time is it?
AB: It must be getting late.
DENNIS: Well past your bedtime.
AB: It's too late for that.
DENNIS: Aren't you getting tired?
AB: Hardly a day goes past when I'm not getting a bit.
DENNIS: Getting tired?
AB: Tired?
A GROWN WOMAN: No.
DENNIS: Stressed!?
A GROWN MAN: No.
DENNIS: Kids these days.
AB: Tell me about it.
DENNIS: Tell him about it.
A GROWN MAN: I'm not ready for bed.
DENNIS: Let me be the judge of that.
AB: Would you look at the time?!
DENNIS: Time for bed, kids.
AB: Where does the time go?
DENNIS: Have you brushed your teeth?
A GROWN MAN: No.
DENNIS: No?
A GROWN MAN: No, not yet.
DENNIS: Your father will hear of this.
AB: Have you brushed yours?
A GROWN WOMAN: Yaha.
AB: You're such a good little boy.
A GROWN WOMAN: Tell that to my dad.
AB: I'll call him right now.
A GROWN WOMAN: I'll dial the number.
AB: I think it's engaged.
DENNIS: Give it here.
AB: Is it?
DENNIS: Hang on a minute.
AB: Well?
DENNIS: I think it's engaged.
AB: I think I said that, didn't I?
DENNIS: Try again.
AB: I'll do it tomorrow.
DENNIS: Tomorrow?
AB: At the very latest.
DENNIS: What if he's out?
AB: I'll leave a message.
DENNIS: A fucking message! Brilliant.
AB: I like fucking messages.
AB hits the lights. Dennis hits the lights.
1.1
Dennis hits the lights.
DENNIS: Don't you just love fucking children?
AB: Why?
DENNIS: He had the number all along.
AB: Who?
DENNIS: The little boy lying over there.
AB: Next to me?
DENNIS: In your bed.
AB: Makes you think, doesn't it?
DENNIS: It makes you think, all right.
AB: What?
DENNIS: It makes you think.
AB: What?
A GROWN WOMAN: Nothing.
AB: What do you want?
A GROWN WOMAN: Nothing?
AB: Turn the light on.
A GROWN WOMAN: I can't reach.
AB: I can't fucking reach.
A GROWN WOMAN: Is that it?
AB: That's not it.
A GROWN WOMAN: I can't see a thing.
AB: Who's there?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: It's only me.
AB: Only who?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Only me.
AB: What?
A GROWN WOMAN: I can't see.
AB: Get the light.
A GROWN WOMAN: I'm trying.
AB: You're not trying hard enough.
DENNIS: Don't you just love fucking children?
AB: I love fucking children.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I couldn't sleep.
AB: What's not to love?
A GROWN WOMAN: You're hurting me.
AB: I can't see what I'm fucking doing.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Can I turn on the light?
AB: Would you?
A GROWN WOMAN: I'm doing it.
AB: I don't really care.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Ow!
AB: What was that?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I hurt myself.
AB: Let me see.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I think it's bleeding.
AB: Let me see.
A GROWN WOMAN: Who cares?
AB: Let's have a look.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I think I can feel a gash.
1.2
AB hits the lights.
Another Grown Man in the role of another little boy stands between the two beds.
AB: It's nothing.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I thought it was bleeding.
A GROWN WOMAN: Who cares?
DENNIS: Is it your leg?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I thought I could feel a gash.
AB: I don't see a fucking gash, girly.
A GROWN WOMAN: Why would you?
AB: Why wouldn't I?
A GROWN WOMAN: Look at his leg.
AB: I'm looking.
A GROWN WOMAN: He doesn't have a gash.
AB: How can you tell?
A GROWN WOMAN: Can't you tell?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: It felt like a gash.
DENNIS: Give us a look.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: It feels like an egg.
DENNIS: But you're not bleeding, are you?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: It feels funny.
DENNIS: It doesn't looks serious.
AB: I'd say, it's not.
A GROWN WOMAN: I could have told you that.
DENNIS: What's your name, anyway, little girl?
A GROWN WOMAN: Don't ask.
DENNIS: Who asked you?!
A GROWN WOMAN: I forgot.
AB: Do you remember me?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I think so.
A GROWN WOMAN: I don't.
DENNIS: I asked you a question.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I knew that.
AB: We met last night.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Your face looks familiar.
DENNIS: I knew your father.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I remember now.
DENNIS: I know your father, I should say.
A GROWN WOMAN: I could have told you that.
AB: I think it was you.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: What was I wearing?
AB: I remember something about it.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Did you see my gash?
A GROWN WOMAN: What gash?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I meant 'egg'.
DENNIS: I can't see anything.
AB: It's nothing.
A GROWN MAN: I have a bit of a sore gash.
DENNIS: Shut up about that.
AB: Nobody wants to hear about your bloody gash, Mary.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Who's Mary?
DENNIS: Mary.
1.3
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I can't sleep.
AB: Have you tried closing your eyes?
A GROWN WOMAN: What about your mouth?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I feel funny.
A GROWN WOMAN: You don't look funny.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I think I want to go home.
DENNIS: Have a little lie down here.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I should call my mum.
DENNIS: It's about time.
AB: I should have thought so.
DENNIS: What is the time?
AB: It's too late.
DENNIS: Too late?
AB: To call mum.
DENNIS: My mum?
AB: Anyone's.
DENNIS: My mum's dead, I think.
AB: Call her.
DENNIS: I wouldn't know what to say.
AB: I heard she's dead, anyway.
DENNIS: I told you so.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Can I use your phone?
AB: It's gone dead.
DENNIS: The line's dead.
AB: It's no use.
DENNIS: I wouldn't bother.
AB: The lines are dead.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Can I try?
AB: If you honestly have to!
A GROWN WOMAN: Honestly!
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Honestly?
DENNIS: Be my guest.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: It's ringing.
DENNIS: What happened?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: No answer.
DENNIS: So?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I should call my dad.
AB: What are you doing out of bed anyway?
DENNIS: It's time for bed.
AB: Time for bed, young lady.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Can't I stay up a bit longer?
DENNIS: Bed.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: But I want to stay up.
DENNIS: I'm telling you.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I need to go the toilet, again.
AB: Again?!
A GROWN WOMAN: But you just went.
DENNIS: You just went to the toilet.
AB: So that's where you went.
1.4
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I really have to go.
AB: Do you want me to take you?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: Where is it?
AB: Do you want me to show you?
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I don't know where it is.
AB: It's this way.
ANOTHER GROWN MAN: I really have to go.
DENNIS: I thought they'd never go.
A GROWN WOMAN: You're telling me.
DENNIS: I'm telling you.
A GROWN MAN: Who?
DENNIS: I'm telling you.
A GROWN MAN: What?
DENNIS: I thought they'd never go.
A GROWN MAN: Where did they go?
A GROWN WOMAN: They had to go the toilet.
A GROWN MAN: I didn't know we got one.
DENNIS: I didn't know we 'had' one.
A GROWN MAN: I didn't know we had one.
A GROWN WOMAN: We still do.
A GROWN MAN: I'll remember that.
DENNIS: Why don't you come over here?
A GROWN WOMAN: I don't want to go that far.
DENNIS: It's like I don't even know you.
A GROWN WOMAN: We just met.
DENNIS: It feels like yesterday.
A GROWN WOMAN: When was that?
DENNIS: Yesterday?
A GROWN WOMAN: Yesterday.
DENNIS: It was when we met.
A GROWN MAN: We met yesterday.
A GROWN WOMAN: What's today?
A GROWN MAN: The day after.
DENNIS: Yesterday?
A GROWN MAN: Yes.
A GROWN WOMAN: What's tomorrow?
A GROWN MAN: Tomorrow's a big day.
A GROWN WOMAN: And today?
A GROWN MAN: Just one of those days.
DENNIS: Do you know what day it is today?
A GROWN MAN: Today?
DENNIS: Yes, today.
A GROWN MAN: Just one of those days.
DENNIS: Today is the day we remember.
A GROWN WOMAN: What do we remember?
DENNIS: What you thought you'd forgotten.
A GROWN MAN: Namely?
DENNIS: What, you don't remember?
A GROWN MAN: What is there to remember?
1.5
DENNIS: You can start with your name.
A GROWN MAN: We went through this.
A GROWN WOMAN: Remember?
DENNIS: Can I phone a friend?
A GROWN MAN: Are you asking me?
DENNIS: I’ll phone a friend.
A GROWN MAN: Don’t you want to ask the audience?
DENNIS: Hello?
A GROWN WOMAN: Who’s he talking to?
A GROWN MAN: Be quiet.
DENNIS: Yes, hello.
A GROWN MAN: Don’t interrupt.
DENNIS: Yes, is he there?
A GROWN MAN: He’s in the shower?
DENNIS: There’s no need to be like that.
A GROWN WOMAN: He’s not talking to you.
A GROWN MAN: How would you know?
DENNIS: Go fuck yourself then.
A GROWN WOMAN: Who did you speak to?
DENNIS: I’ll try again later, my little friend.
A GROWN WOMAN: You can ask me.
DENNIS: I’m not going to ask you again.
A GROWN WOMAN: Did you ask me in the first place?
DENNIS: Don’t ask me to answer that.
A GROWN WOMAN: How come?
DENNIS: You know I can’t answer that.
A GROWN WOMAN: I do?
A GROWN MAN: I do.
DENNIS: I know.
A GROWN MAN: Do you?
DENNIS: You know, I can’t answer that.
A GROWN MAN: I’m afraid you can’t.
DENNIS: You should be.
A GROWN WOMAN: Why’s that?
DENNIS: Because they’ll be here soon.
A GROWN WOMAN: For real?
DENNIS: They’ll take you away.
A GROWN MAN: They’ll take you away.
DENNIS: There’s no need to be sore.
A GROWN WOMAN: They’ll be here?
DENNIS: Put this on.
A GROWN MAN: I’m not putting this on.
A GROWN WOMAN: What is it?
DENNIS: It’ll stop the pain.
A GROWN WOMAN: I suppose it can’t hurt.
A GROWN MAN: I don’t suppose it can’t.
DENNIS: Put it on.
A GROWN WOMAN: See how it feels.
1.6
A GROWN MAN: Do you even know what it is?
A GROWN WOMAN: You should hear yourself.
DENNIS: I hear what you’re saying
A GROWN MAN: Did you hear that fucking noise?
DENNIS: I beg your fucking pardon.
A GROWN WOMAN: I can’t hear anything.
A GROWN MAN: Shut up a second.
DENNIS: It sounded like a scream.
A GROWN MAN: That’s not what I heard.
A GROWN WOMAN: I don’t hear anything.
A GROWN MAN: It’s gone now.
DENNIS: Have you got it on yet?
A GROWN MAN: Put it on yourself.
DENNIS: Don’t fucking tempt me, you little cunt.
A GROWN WOMAN: Don’t make him come over there.
DENNIS: Don’t make me come over there.
A GROWN MAN: Make me.
DENNIS: You’ll be sorry.
A GROWN WOMAN: How come?
DENNIS: Do I have to explain myself?
A GROWN WOMAN: What?
DENNIS: Do I have to repeat myself?
A GROWN WOMAN: What?
DENNIS: I asked you a question.
A GROWN WOMAN: What?
DENNIS: I won’t ask again.
A GROWN WOMAN: What?
DENNIS: You’re totally fucked!
A GROWN WOMAN: Me? What?
DENNIS: You heard.
A GROWN MAN: Put it on.
A GROWN WOMAN: What is that?
A GROWN MAN: This?
DENNIS: It’s none of your business.
A GROWN WOMAN: What business would that be?
A GROWN MAN: What’s going to happen to us?
DENNIS: How shall I put this?
A GROWN WOMAN: Do you even know?
DENNIS: You’ll find out soon enough.
A GROWN WOMAN: I can’t wait.
DENNIS: Wait here.
A GROWN MAN: Where are you going?
DENNIS: I’m not going anywhere.
A GROWN MAN: Can I come with you?
DENNIS: You’re not going anywhere.
A GROWN MAN: Don’t leave me.
DENNIS: I won’t be long.
A GROWN MAN: Promise?
DENNIS: I’ll be right back.
1.7
A GROWN MAN: I thought he’d never leave.
A GROWN WOMAN: What are we going to do?
A GROWN MAN: When?
A GROWN WOMAN: Now that we’re alone.
A GROWN MAN: We can’t just leave.
A GROWN WOMAN: I never said we could.
A GROWN MAN: Don’t even think about it.
DENNIS: I will be right back.
A GROWN MAN: I didn’t see you there.
DENNIS: Did you hear something?
A GROWN MAN: There’s someone at the door.
DENNIS: Shit.
A GROWN WOMAN: I didn’t hear anything.
A GROWN MAN: Maybe it was just me.
A GROWN MAN: There it goes again.
A GROWN WOMAN: I don’t hear anything.
DENNIS: You’re imagining things.
A GROWN MAN: There!
A GROWN WOMAN: Where?
A GROWN MAN: It sounds like someone is trying to get in.
DENNIS: It’s time for bed, young lady.
POLICE: Knock, knock.
DENNIS: Shit.
POLICE: Knock, knock
DENNIS: Who is it?
POLICE: Police.
DENNIS: Police, who?
POLICE: Police. Open up.
POLICE: Police.
POLICE: Open up.
DENNIS: Shit. Shit.
POLICE: Open up.
DENNIS: Shit.
POLICE: Open up in there.
DENNIS: Nothing right now, thank you.
POLICE: We know you’re in there.
DENNIS: Shit.
A GROWN MAN: Who is it?
A GROWN WOMAN: Who’s there?
DENNIS: I can help you.
POLICE: Can you open this door?
DENNIS: Pornography.
POLICE: Open this door.
DENNIS: Kiddy porn.
POLICE: Open it.
DENNIS:I can get you kiddy porn.
POLICE: Give me the keys.
POLICE: I thought I gave them to you.
POLICE: What’s that in your hand?
The End.
