NormThe Worms Cricket Club, Act 2, Episode 6, Channel 31 Telescript (2005)
ACT TWO
JULIA
Due to Amanda having a thing on, due to her having her thing on.
MARK
We will be taking this segment.
KIM
Kim.
MARK
Julia.
JULIA
Mark.
KIM
She will return.
MARK
Without her thing on.
JULIA
Good luck there.
Now, from these notes, it seems that – here we go.
Julia – my first question goes to you.
Is there still, still envy there for me?
KIM
What?
MARK
What!
KIM
It says that.
JULIA
Well. Well. Well, Amanda if you mean do I wish
that I was a little tart?
The answer is no.
KIM
The answer is yes.
MARK
Meaning?
KIM
Nothing.
MARK
You said something that meant nothing.
KIM
What’s the next bit?
MARK
Give us a look.
JULIA
I’m doing it.
KIM
Get on with it then.
MARK
My go.
JULIA
Alright then – here.
MARK
OK. Mark – to you – fancy me still - don’t you?
JULIA
What!
KIM
What?
MARK
What!
JULIA
Is this true?
MARK
What?
JULIA
Is this true?
MARK
No...Of course it isn’t.
KIM
I’m convinced.
JULIA
It is true. I knew it.
MARK
Don’t let her do this.
JULIA SCRUNCHES UP THE SCRIPT, SLAMS IT ON MARK’S CHEST AND EXITS.
PAUSE.
SILENCE.
KIM
Show me. Give it here.
MARK HANGING ON TO THE CORNER OF THE SCRIPT IN PETRIFICATION HAS IT RIPPED OUT BY KIM.
KIM
Julia – dadadadada.
Mark - dadadadada.
Kim – dadadadada.
Well here we all are...We are the...Worms.
Well, Mark, don’t just stand there.
MARK
Me?
KIM
Well, Mark, what is it about the Worms
that makes you itch?
There is something about it, isn’t there?
MARK
Me?
JULIA ENTERS ASHEN FACED.
PAUSE.
KIM
Equipment.
MARK
If I am so vehemently opposed to septic tanks
why do I eat their shit?
KIM
What?
JULIA
What’s wrong with me?
MARK
That’s alright.
JULIA
I’m sorry Ham.
MARK
That’s alright. That’s alright. That’s alright.
JULIA
It’s not alright. It’s not. I can’t. It’s not alright.
I can’t do that. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
AMANDA ENTERS FRAME.
AMANDA
Sorry everyone. I’m back. We’ll be back after this.
DARKNESS.
JULIA
Due to Amanda having a thing on, due to her having her thing on.
MARK
We will be taking this segment.
KIM
Kim.
MARK
Julia.
JULIA
Mark.
KIM
She will return.
MARK
Without her thing on.
JULIA
Good luck there.
Now, from these notes, it seems that – here we go.
Julia – my first question goes to you.
Is there still, still envy there for me?
KIM
What?
MARK
What!
KIM
It says that.
JULIA
Well. Well. Well, Amanda if you mean do I wish
that I was a little tart?
The answer is no.
KIM
The answer is yes.
MARK
Meaning?
KIM
Nothing.
MARK
You said something that meant nothing.
KIM
What’s the next bit?
MARK
Give us a look.
JULIA
I’m doing it.
KIM
Get on with it then.
MARK
My go.
JULIA
Alright then – here.
MARK
OK. Mark – to you – fancy me still - don’t you?
JULIA
What!
KIM
What?
MARK
What!
JULIA
Is this true?
MARK
What?
JULIA
Is this true?
MARK
No...Of course it isn’t.
KIM
I’m convinced.
JULIA
It is true. I knew it.
MARK
Don’t let her do this.
JULIA SCRUNCHES UP THE SCRIPT, SLAMS IT ON MARK’S CHEST AND EXITS.
PAUSE.
SILENCE.
KIM
Show me. Give it here.
MARK HANGING ON TO THE CORNER OF THE SCRIPT IN PETRIFICATION HAS IT RIPPED OUT BY KIM.
KIM
Julia – dadadadada.
Mark - dadadadada.
Kim – dadadadada.
Well here we all are...We are the...Worms.
Well, Mark, don’t just stand there.
MARK
Me?
KIM
Well, Mark, what is it about the Worms
that makes you itch?
There is something about it, isn’t there?
MARK
Me?
JULIA ENTERS ASHEN FACED.
PAUSE.
KIM
Equipment.
MARK
If I am so vehemently opposed to septic tanks
why do I eat their shit?
KIM
What?
JULIA
What’s wrong with me?
MARK
That’s alright.
JULIA
I’m sorry Ham.
MARK
That’s alright. That’s alright. That’s alright.
JULIA
It’s not alright. It’s not. I can’t. It’s not alright.
I can’t do that. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
AMANDA ENTERS FRAME.
AMANDA
Sorry everyone. I’m back. We’ll be back after this.
DARKNESS.
