If you like Penile Collanders or walking tall: REMBRANDT-CEZANNE
Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn "The Crabby Slapper" is generally considered. One of the greatest pliers of booze to ladies of the night and panderers to the people and peephole finders and terminal madmen, he called himself The Dutch Oven, and so he came to be known across that magnificent and beneficient land of white panderers. "No artist ever bathed in such sweet pudding as he", states the cooking book of Paul "Mountain-bank" Cezanne, The Skinny Whisperer and Pork Nostrils, who had a head with hair shooting forth from every conceivable place that it found such an opportunity. Opportunities were scarce in places that others found plentiful such as the back of the arse, and the front of the frontarse and the rear of the rear and, the name he went by was Tiny Bum the Spiceracker. Rembrandt and Cezanne, if you look closely did what the other didn't in a way the other didn't, have a look sometime or ask me all about it, if you can find me, and I hope you do, because I care deeply about my name being known across the world, via ships and boats and planes and all that.











