Wayne Carey to join Miami PD.
Miami Chief of Police, Ty Dup has dropped assault charges against Wayne Carey and offered him a job as an honorary battering ram for the local SWAT team. “It’s the thickness of his head,” Chief Dup said. “It doesn’t seem to matter to Wayne how many times he rams it into something or someone, he always comes back for more with the same thick head. He’ll also be handy if we have to subdue women. Instead of a baton, gun, capsicum spray or handcuffs, he’ll be issued with two empty wine glasses.” Carey said he was looking forward to wearing a police hat to cover his baldness but ruled out a football comeback with the Miami Dolphins. “Plus chicks just dig guys in uniform.” Carey’s girlfriend, Kate Neilson, said she was still cut up over the incident but the blows had been softened when she was offered a lucrative role as a car crash victim who flies through a windscreen in the latest TAC (Victorian Transport Authority Commission) ads.












